It’s that time of the year! Hot, sticky, and insufferable. You’re inside cranking the air conditioning and waiting for the Eagles season to begin, watching the Phillies begin their inevitable slide while looking forward to your one-week vacation at the same Jersey Shore spot you’ve been going to for three decades now (45th street in Sea Isle for me).

Some sites are experiencing a “slow” period in web traffic, but not us, as we plow forward with another installment of the award-winning 50 Hot Takes column:

  1. There is nothing more useless than Eagles training camp stats. Tweeting them out should be illegal.
  2. Play the song Choonis? Nah, we’re good. Retire the Sixers song.
  3. Angelo Cataldi, the non-shtick version we heard on that recent podcast, would have been a great co-host on weekends with Glen Macnow.
  4. I would keep Rhea Hughes, Al Morganti, and Keith Jones on the morning show after Angelo retires. They are entirely different people when Angelo isn’t there.
  5. Mikey Miss going out the way he did is inconceivable. Mike WAS 97.5 the Fanatic for the longest time and built that brand into what it is.
  6. A.J. Brown really is the third-best athlete in Philly right now. That says a lot about the drop off behind Joel Embiid and Bryce Harper.
  7. From Bob Wankel: “Jalen Hurts will throw for more yards than Dak Prescott this season.”
  8. The Sixers should absolutely want their own arena. I don’t blame them at all. They’re renters in the Wells Fargo Center.
  9. The Wells Fargo Center upgrades are underrated. Comcast did a nice job with updating the arena and it’s a good spot to watch a game.
  10. Nothing in Philadelphia should ever be referred to as “fashion district.”
  11. There’s no guarantee that even 9 years from now SEPTA will run a reliable operation. We should all have serious doubts about using mass transit to get to a Center City basketball arena.
  12. If the Sixers do indeed move to their own arena, that spot should host all of the Big 5 games and a WNBA team as well.
  13. If you wanna see stupidity, watch parents at the zoo. “Hey Johnny, look at the crocodile!” Man, it says “alligator” on the sign right in front of your face.
  14. Ryan Ellis is Andrew Bynum without the big press conference.
  15. The 2022 Flyers are the 2012-2013 Sixers. They’re headed for a full tear down and rebuild, they just haven’t accepted it yet.
  16. You’d take the Saudi money to play golf, too. We all would. We’re all compromised hypocrites. We buy everything from the Chinese communists, etc.
  17. This older and wiser version of TORTS is cool. He’s still an asshole, but he’s a measured and composed asshole.
  18. Philly fans are great fans but can’t get anything organized. If we’re talking “four major sports,” the only thing people can do in unison is “Fly Eagles Fly” after a touchdown. Even “ref you suck” features multiple pockets of fans who are out of sync.
  19. Taco Bell is an American institution.
  20. Pagan’s “vertically-cut” burrito take was horrendous. Terrible take.
  21. Potatoes don’t belong in burritos. Furthermore, potatoes don’t add anything to any dish. You could remove the potato entirely and the quality of the dish would not change. Likewise, when you to go brunch and they give you potatoes, that’s just cheap filler. Nobody actually looks forward to potatoes.
  22. Don’t let my wife see this, but the high-waisted shorts gotta go.
  23. Having real basketball players on the show is the best thing First Take has done in years. Redick, McCollum, Pat Bev, etc.
  24. DAP is the best brand of spackle.
  25. Nick Sirianni’s beard line is too high. Gotta bring it down a little lower. Not a neck beard, but below the jawline slightly.
  26. If we’re ranking the best grays, then I think heather gray gets the top spot.
  27. The plumcot is underrated. Actually all of the hybrid fruits are good. Plumcot, Pluot, etc. The Aprium is kind of shit, though.
  28. If you can Google it, you don’t need to ask about it in your Facebook community group.
  29. Meteorologists are just data interpreters (this is not a criticism).
  30. Unless you know a NBA player personally or are actually talking to them, please don’t refer to them by their first name. No more “Ben” or “Joel” or whatever. Just say “Simmons” and “Embiid.”
  31. Metallica is not a top-five thrash metal band (also, the Load album is underrated).
  32. We don’t need Eagles film breakdowns in May, June, and July. Just go on vacation or something. Go outside.
  33. You need to have your mulch done by Memorial Day weekend. If you’re putting down mulch in June you’re a lazy ass.
  34. From Coggin: “Barry is a better HBO show than The Sopranos.”
  35. From Craig: “Philly needs more good breweries or Philly needs to hold its breweries to a higher standard. We don’t have any brewery in the city that you tell people visiting that they need to hit”
  36. From Phil: “Ruben Amaro Jr. may be a very nice guy but there is no reason to have him in the booth after he murdered the last Phillies playoff team
  37. Another from Phil: “6 ABC’s Brittany Boyer will have a national job within three years”
  38. Tim: “Giving Claude Giroux a “no movement” clause was one of the biggest mistakes the Flyers made in the last 10 years.”
  39. Tim: “People who yell “SHOOT” during every hockey power play should be banned from the arena.”
  40. Russ coming in hot here: “Claude Giroux chose poorly. The easier path was always through the West.”
  41. Russ again: “Colorado was better off without Giroux. Florida got over reliant on him to carry the load, and their season ended like too many Flyers seasons before it.”
  42. Russ with a third take: “Ron Hextall taking Nolan Patrick against his scouts’ opinion is far worse than Colangelo drafting Fultz over Tatum. Four of the five top picks in Patrick’s year became All-Stars”
  43. Stranger Things is the same show over and over again.
  44. from an anonymous CB staffer: “when it’s all said and done, Scott Franzke will surpass Harry Kalas
  45. It’s unfathomable how many road projects in this region are left incomplete. Finish the job. I don’t care if you have to pause every other project in the tri-state region, just get it done. The people in charge of PA/NJ/Delaware road work should all be fired.
  46. Plant protein tastes like butt.
  47. With the existence of kettle cooked chips, there’s no reason to eat any other chips.
  48. The staycation is underrated.
  49. Wedding DJ over wedding band any day of the week.
  50. FUCK the India pale ale.

That’s it for now. Have a fantastic day.