Mayor Kenney Once Again Doing a Great Job of Looking Like He’d Rather be Anywhere than Philly

via Tim Jimenez at KYW News Radio

The last time we saw Jim Kenney this miserable was after two cops were shot at the 4th of July concert by the Art Museum. Before that, it was right after Philly won a bid for the 2026 World Cup. Now it’s time to add first day for Philly public schools Jim Kenney to the list! On Monday, the mayor did a fantastic job of looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Nick Castellanos made more contact in June than the mayor did on these high fives:

Jim Kenney dishing out high fives:

Let’s break it down –

You can see he’s still clapping by the time the first kid walks by. He thinks about going for it, but decides against it. Which was the right move. But there is no excuse for the second kid. You have to visualize and attack. That kid is going down the line making some firm hand-to-hand contact. You don’t see this kind of high five efficiency from most dorky school superintendents:

Right here the Mayor has to at least be at half mast. Remember these are children that had to get up at 7 a.m. for the first time in months. They’re half asleep. You need to be the leader in this situation. Good job by the kid keeping his eyes downfield. It’s like a RB seeing where the linebackers are positioned after hitting the open hole:

Instead we only get halfway right here, and the kid is basically in his classroom already. That’s a missed assignment and his PR coach will be tearing him a new asshole about during film later that day:

The final tally was a successful 6 out of 12 high fives. He had no shot with the kid rocking the Cleveland Indians fitted. It looked like he wanted to be here less than the mayor. Gotta argue that kid would also not have the highest awareness rating in Madden:

via @TimJRadio

Start to finish it was a shit show, and by the end of the line he just flat out gave up. Diabolical move playing “Down low, too slow” with the teacher who had to decide if she wanted to pay her bills or buy school supplies this month: