No wonder this guy stunk up the joint on Tuesday night:

lol

Here’s the entire thing transcribed:

“Hoskins got with your girlfriend in high school…. twice! That is getting smoked by Harper! How much sticky stuff is in that hair? I know there’s something in that lettuce! Don’t even get me started on you! Valdez, what’s in your glove? What the hell’s in your glove? Show me the off-speed! My grandma could have rocked that shit! McCullers, you need to figure it out! I haven’t seen a strike yet! Phillies moneyline! Phillies moneyline is free tonight!”

Awesome. Just absolute torment right there. We gotta get this guy on Crossing Broadcast.