The Eagles put in one of their worst performances of the season on Sunday afternoon and yet walked away with a road win. They successfully navigated the 3-10 Chicago Bears “trap game,” if you wanna call it that.

Say what you will, but the Birds found a way. Even when they look like dog shit, you never really panic, unless you’re one of the Negadelphia miserabs that likes to complain about everything. Despite turning the ball over three times and missing a field goal, the Eagles still put up 400 yards of offense, limited Chicago outside of a ridiculous late score, and never relinquished the lead after going up 10-6 at halftime.

So the Eagles are 13-1 and head to Dallas on Christmas Eve to play a Cowboys team that struggled with Houston and lost to Jacksonville in consecutive weeks. In the words of Clark Griswold, we’re gonna beat the Cowboys and have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fucking Kaye.

The takeaways:

 


1) Talk about a janky transition to begin this game. We went from World Cup final penalty kicks to Chicago lining up illegally on the opening kickoff and then committing two false starts on their first drive. That was followed by the Eagles blowing a 3rd and long and then an injury, commercial, 2nd injury, and then another commercial, followed by a return to the field and brief replay, then back to commercial. It was the worst start to a football game, ever.

2) Chicago should have moved the sticks on that 4th and 1 that ended their first drive. Guy was wide open.

3) The first interception was one of Jalen Hurts’ worst plays of the season. He hasn’t had many of those this year. I guess we had to wait 15 weeks for our first “meh” Hurts game of the year, so that’s not bad, eh.

4) Not sure what the Bears were doing on that 3rd and short during their third drive. They lined up in 12 personnel with Justin Fields executing a seven-step drop, only to be sacked for a huge loss. They really stunk up the joint whenever the Eagles gave them momentum.

5) Play calling wasn’t amazing in this game, especially on the first couple of drives. Those deep shots? A couple of them were fine based on what the defense was showing, but Miles Sanders didn’t touch the ball until 6:32 in the second quarter and the RPO and zone reads were keeping the ball in Hurts’ hands. They started moving the ball down the field and then threw some sideways shit, a swing pass and receiver screen, and got themselves backed up into 3rd and 15 before having to settle for the field goal.

6) The issue with the RPOs and zone reads is that even if Hurts makes the correct decision 100 times in a row, it may result in him running or throwing 100 times in a row. That means Sanders doesn’t register any touches. When the guy is having a career year he needs the ball in his hands. The bottom line is that an Eagles running back didn’t touch the ball in the first quarter, and that should never be the case.

7) Bad form from Fletcher Cox on that attempted fumble recovery. If he just falls on that ball it’s a strip sack and takeaway. Instead, Justin Fields pulls off some miraculous run and Chicago scores two plays later:

8) Chicago kicking was an adventure in this one. They missed an extra point then apparently were worried about the wind right before halftime, which is why they punted instead of looking for a field goal from inside of 50 yards. Maybe their concerns were validated when Jake Elliott missed, but you’re 3-10. You don’t have anything to lose.

9) We’ll have to hear what Hurts and Quez Watkins say about the 2nd interception. Watkins got jammed up a bit on the route. It looks like Hurts was expecting him to break off to his left but Quez wasn’t ready for it and wasn’t even looking for the ball. Horrendous sequence that took place right after a Chicago score.

Also, no clue why Watkins jumped over the guy who picked off the ball. Show at least a little bit of awareness there to know you can tag the guy down with literally any touch of the body.

10) Haason Reddick was player of the game for me. Those early sacks were huge and the fumble recovery preserved the four-point lead. Then he wrapped it up with a pass rush win that resulted in a holding call, forcing a 3rd and long and Chicago punt.

11) DeVonta Smith rules. It’s so nice to have him be there to make these big plays when Brown and Sanders aren’t totally involved in the game. He was the Heisman Trophy winner and a top-10 draft pick for a reason.

12) The Hurts running TD was a thing of beauty. They went back to their empty set and ran this into a zero blitz, so once the safety got picked up there was absolutely nothing but green grass between Jalen and the end zone:

Six rushers and a 5v5 in coverage. Nobody home, easy score.

13) One of the best adjustments they’ve made this season is replacing Britain Covey with Boston Scott on kickoff return duty. Not only is special teams finally influencing the game with meaningful returns and good field positioning, but it seems like Covey has been a little better on punts since coming off kick duty. Not sure there’s a correlation between the two (there probably isn’t), but he’s improved in one phase since being removed from the other.

14) Call it “rugby scrum middle” or the “double cheek push” or whatever you will. The play is not stoppable. It’s like Joel Embiid once he starts clicking.

15) I am still not sure if A.J. Brown caught this pass:

16) The Miles Sanders fumble was an absolute backbreaker. Not there, man! Not when you’re cruising and in a position to put the game away.

17) RE: the second Bears touchdown:

Seth Joyner: “I know Chicago scored on that play, but I loved the blitz.”

18) Don’t need a deep shot to Quez Watkins on 3rd and 2. Just move the sticks.

19) Brandon Graham showing his age a bit in this game. He lost contain on the edge a couple of times, and just looked slow in general against Fields in open space, though I suppose most ends would look the same in that situation.

20) Still waiting for FOX to show a replay of that 4th and 6 target for Brown. Looked like the DB just made a good play to break up the pass, but Nick Sirianni was looking for a flag.

21) Not gonna lie, my sphincter tightened a bit on that 3rd and 10 screen for Cole Kmet, but T.J. Edwards getting in there for the tackle was one of the bigger defensive plays of the game.

22) It takes some cajones to call a receiver screen/bubble screen on 3rd and 10 from your own end zone. If that hadn’t converted, you would not have heard the end of it from your uncle on sports talk radio this week.

23) A.J. Brown had a critical block on that 4th and 3 Hurts conversion in the fourth quarter. Just barely got enough of the guy from the side without committing a penalty.

24) Single doink. Ugly!

25) This was after Sanders bounced a run to the outside for no apparent reason:

26) Notice how Covey spits on his hands pre-punt, even though he’s wearing gloves? Need as much grip as possible, I guess.

27) The irony of essentially killing the game off with a go route completion is not lost on me. They tried go after go in this game and kept misfiring, but instead of getting away from it, were rewarded with A.J. Brown hauling one in just prior to the score that iced it. Deep shots are high risk/high reward. You can watch 10 fall incomplete, but the 11th is a game-changing type of sequence.

28) Quez Watkins unfortunately looked like Jalen Reagor in this game. Two carries for four yards, four receptions for six yards. Too much Quez!

29) This was tweeted at 6-3:

Whoops.

30) I don’t actually have a 30th observation, just wanted to add this because 30 sounded like a better number than 29.