How the hell did Mrs. Sirianni let him out of the house in this? You gotta know your limits when you’re 41 years old. This shirt looks like FUBU, South Pole, and Rocawear fucked during a cocaine orgy and produced this monstrosity. This is a shirt I’d expect the brunch DJ at Xfinity Live! to be wearing while playing a mashup of Party in the USA and Levels. Not the head ball coach of the best team in the NFL:

Supposedly this shirt is from Art History 101, a local t-shirt shop in the Northeast. Now you know how much I love the Northeast, but even Bryce Harper strikes out sometimes. Good for them, though. As a guy who has benefited from coach saying yes to a free a t-shirt, I know how much this can affect the bottom line. I just hope whomever went to their website opted for something completely different. Like this sick Topanga one that’s on sale right now because we don’t need the “Ill” era back in Philly. We beat that shit into the ground from 2009-2011. There are still t-shirt shops on the Wildwood boardwalk that are paying their bills from “Ill” and Jersey Shore merch. The “Ill” era was so prosperous it developed spin-offs for local teams:

It was a legendary time in this city’s history:

Look at this guy. 17 years old, fresh off an Accutane prescription, and probably a couple Nattys deep. When I saw that “Ill” pinny on the Ocean City boardwalk there was no chance it wasn’t coming home with me. The size of it could clothe the homeless:

Idiot 17 year olds. That’s the clientele for those shirts. Not the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, who has the entire city’s mental wellbeing in his hands for the next month.