Better not catch any of you weirdos wearing these:

Basically Spanx for men. You’d be wearing what your wife wears, so that’s a no right there. “That’s gonna be a no from me dawg,” as Randy Jackson once said.

If you have a gut, there are basically two acceptable things to do –

One, you can embrace it and just roll with dad bod. We all gained 15 pounds after our kids were born. You’re getting older and you’re not gonna look how you looked in college.

Two, you can take your lazy ass outside and get some exercise. Do some sit ups. Covering up your flab doesn’t do anything to actually fix the issue. This is just something fake to make you feel better about yourself.

This is a continuation and/or byproduct of the fugazi “body positivity” movement, and I’m only half joking. Yeah, it’s good that people feel better about how they look and who they are. A lot of this shit you’re born with and can’t change, unless you have money for plastic surgery, so the pursuit of 6’2″, 205 pounds, and washboard abs probably is not attainable. But it’s also not healthy to be a fatso, so we have to draw a line between personal acceptance vs. sending the wrong message, i.e. telling people that it’s okay to be lazy and eat Burger King seven times a week.