Apparently these are real:

From JTD2013 on the Chiefs’ Reddit page:

“This was released today btw. Bit weird to release it two months later (especially since Eagles fans were super cool and handled the loss as well as any of us handle SB losses) but oh well lmao. At least they chose Philly and we don’t have to deal with a “Skyline Chili” flavored Bengals Tears drink.

Edit: I tried it, it’s delicious. It’s “cheesecake” flavored but it reminds me a lot of those “milkshake flavor” milks I used to drink back in the early 2000s in elementary school. Super niche comparison but hey, someone will be hyped about that knowledge lmao”

The blurb on the side of the bottle reads as follows:

“Have you ever tasted eagle tears before? Neither had we. But we gotta say, we weren’t expecting their flavor profile to so closely resemble cheesecake. Cheesesteak, maybe. But not cheesecake. Bottling them was no easy feat. We had to conquer the West, defend our home turf (twice!) and travel all the way to the desert and back. Make no mistake, Kansas City. The contents of this bottle are very precious cargo. Savor it.”

These are being manufactured by the “Shatto Milk Company,” which appears to be located in bumblefuck Missouri, according to Google Maps. Seems kind of lame, yeah? The Super Bowl was two months ago and everybody pretty much moved on. Plus, it’s not like the Eagles and Chiefs have some historic and contentious rivalry. If we lost to the Cowboys in the NFC title game and they were still needing us eight weeks later, fine, but this feels like a head scratcher.

Shatto Milk Company? More like Shitto Milk Company. Heyo!