The Mets are the best! A year after winning 101 games they’re selling at the deadline and apparently are telling people internally they aren’t expected to compete until the year Wrestlemania comes to Philly. Max Scherzer had no problems spilling the beans during his introductory press conference with the Rangers:

48 hours earlier, GM Billy Eppler told the fans it wasn’t a liquidation:

You’re right, it’s not a liquidation over there Billy boy! It’s something that’s never been done before in business. When you’re liquidating, you sell off assets to pay your bills. In the Mets’ case they are selling off assets AND still have to pay an insane portion of them:

$90 MILLION!?! PLUS TAX!?!? THANK GOD UNCLE STEVIE HAS ALL THAT UNLIMITED MONEY METS FANS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT!

This would be like selling your car on Craigslist and paying the guy every time he gets gas for the next two years. I need Steve Cohen to turn Scherzer and Verlander’s deals into some strung-out Bobby Bonilla contract we can celebrate every year. I want Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander to get $1.19 million for the next century!

How did the Mets bounce back? Well their Amazin Mets Foundation Brick Program that fans have been waiting two years for went off the rails. The site went down, which locked Mets fans out and made them refresh the page for two hours until they got a notice all the bricks were sold out:

Imagine staring at a Windows 97 “Under Construction” error code for two hours:

 

Then they followed that up by losing on a “balk-off” in extra innings: 

 

I mean, the jokes just write themselves.