Last week, we did a story titled “I Guess We Have to Take the L After Bryce Harper Shouts Out Chuck from Mount Airy.” The gist was that Bryce homered in the 12-7 win over the Angels, then told reporters after the game he was “fired up” because he was listening to 94 WIP and heard Chuck from Mount Airy deliver what was apparently some inspirational phone call.

Two days later, with the Phillies off, Harper went on the Marks and Reese show, which featured a Chuck appearance, and since that phone call he is 0 for 19 with six strikeouts and two walks:

Ridiculous! Outrageous!

Bryce is slashing .000/.095/.000 since his WIP appearance. We are officially rescinding the L that we took last week.

Now to be clear, the Chuck from Mount Airy storyline was cool. Here’s a famous and popular athlete who found inspiration in a fan’s phone call. He turned that motivation into a big home run and a Phillies win. It’s a feel-good story. Chuck was EVERYWHERE. He got interviewed by a bunch of people. KYW News Radio and the Inquirer covered it. Awful Announcing did a post. The big blue checkmark accounts tweeted about it. Everybody was feeling great and just enjoying the Phillies ride.

But the unfortunate truth is that Chuck mushed Bryce Harper. He totally jinxed the shit out of him, and in my mind, this is work of the baseball Gods, expressing their displeasure with 94 WIP for allowing Chuck to call up every single show every single day. It’s like the invisible hand telling us that sports radio callers must not overstep their boundaries. Because if they do, your superstar players will be cursed and unable to hit the ball. It’s like some grotesque Disney movie, but instead of turning into a pumpkin or a frog, the protagonist can’t get on base.

The only way to undo the hex is for Chuck to limit his phone calls to once per week, and once on the weekends. The Tom Bigby rule. Will Chuck comply? If he doesn’t, he will have ruined this Phillies season and damned all of us, for eternity.

And if that ends up being the case, we put Chuck in the bathroom.