No one knows how to take something and completely blow it out of proportion like Braves media. Is everyone in the south a bona fide pussy? No wonder we cleaned their clocks almost 200 years ago. Here’s WSB sports reporter Alison Mastrangelo complaining about rogue sprinklers:

Here at Crossing Broad we want to extend our condolences. Please keep Alison and the wet media gear in your prayers.

The craziest part is this woman is from South Jersey and went to Rowan. She grew up here! Does the South just make you doughy soft? Between the sprinklers, the throat slash, and the media allegedly fabricating Orlando Arcia’s comments I think we’ve hit everything on the series BINGO board. How long until someone in the Braves press corps complains about their dinner being cold on purpose, or Frankie Two Scoops cheating them on ice cream portions in the press box? Just wait until they see what we do to Spencer Strider . I’m guaranteeing at least one opinion piece after his start wondering if fans are necessary at sporting events. It’s going to be like the Colosseum. People are out for blood:

Nice mustache, pussy:

Kinkead: the sprinkler system is zoned. it starts in one area. they don’t just all go on at the same time