This is performative bullshit from a Cowboys fan, but I’ll bite because I don’t know how much more I can talk about a gut-wrenching Game 2 Phillies loss:

Add Dak to the list of starters that Cowboys fans have now realized can’t win the big one.

The list includes:

  • Quincy Carter
  • Vinny Testaverde
  • Drew Henson
  • Drew Bledsoe
  • Tony Romo

A couple more years and Eagles fans will be able to make this Browns jersey with overpaid Cowboys QBs of years past:

Before we get into the video breakdown wtf is up with the Cowboys flag in the truck grill?

Is that street legal? If that gets a stiff gust of wind and lands on the windshield of Nana’s Toyota Camry she’s not gonna live long enough to see the Boys lose again in the playoffs.

Anyway…

I don’t understand the sports allegiance of this barber. Barbers take their stations seriously. So why is there a McNabb jersey feet away from all this Cowboys bullshit?

Break glass in case of emergency (Dak sucking ass):

Not gonna lie. I’m jealous. This guy must’ve felt like Shaq after shattering a backboard:

The face of a dude who is SHOCKED he didn’t just cut his hand:

For as good as the glass shattering was, ripping the signed picture of Dak was terrible. This looks like me when I rip up a check that’s going in the trash so no one can steal one number of my bank account:

The Niners guy at the end is my favorite part. MVP! You couldn’t write comedic timing that well:

Here’s the best part –

Do they extend Dak because there’s no other choice, or take a $60 million dead cap hit and cut him? There’s no shot he’s going to renegotiate for less money without another four years.

I need Jerry Jones to live forever.