From Rapoopopopopoport (skip to 1:14):

It looks like it’s Drew Lock tonight in a get right game for the Eagles.

On the other side of the ball, the only intel Rapoopopopopoport offered on Jalen Hurts is that QBs with this illness typically play, so all signs point to him under center tonight.

I ain’t gonna lie, part of me wishes it was Marcus Mariota vs. Drew Lock. The NFL deserves that after screwing Eagles fans over by flexing the game while handling this whole Big Dom debacle. It would be beautiful irony.

But the Birds aren’t flying Hurts out there if he’s not playing. He was hooked up to multiple IVs 30,000 feet in the sky on Air Hurts:


Just gotta hope this isn’t some type of Joe Webb game. I don’t think Eagles fans can deal with a third straight loss. Don’t get me wrong, this team is cooked and panicked. But we can’t lose to the backup on Monday Night Football. Three straight embarrassments is going to have people lining up on the Ben Franklin Bridge.

Our lives are in the hands of this guy and his #2 Ticonderoga:

Photo: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports