The Philly Specials released their second Christmas album, now streaming on Spotify and Apple Music just in time for your Christmas party! Make sure you tell your pops the album was recorded in the summer when he tries to blame tonight’s loss on the linemen not being focused. I review every new song that was released using my patented system of “Kelce Clauses.” Siskel and Ebert and Roeper had thumbs, The Source had the mics, and we have Jason Kelce wearing a Santa hat:

It’s professional as fuck! Lets get into the review!

The Christmas Song ft. Amos Lee

One thing this Christmas album did this year with a bigger budget was feature a ton of local talent. Amos Lee, Patti LaBelle, the Children’s Choir of Philly, Howie Roseman, etc. Amos Lee fits in here perfectly. We go from Lane Johnson to Jason Kelce to Amos Lee with that beautiful tenor. Then here comes Jordan Mailata to clean it up like it’s that extra shove during the Tush Push, which Roger Goodell wants to ban btw? What a Scrooge. I hope he’s visited by the ghost of Tush Push’s past this holiday season. Which will probably be this Eagles fan breaking into his house and kidnapping him like cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation:

I’m going 6/10 Kelce Clauses for this one. Not my favorite Christmas song but the guys do a solid job:


This Christmas ft. Patti LaBelle

This was released as a single earlier this month that I reviewed here.

Dominick The Donkey


I love Dominic the Donkey. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it twice: without Dominic the Donkey all the little Italian girls and little Italian boys do not get their presents because somehow that fraud Rudolph can’t use his magic flying powers to land in the mountains. How does that make any sense? Sounds like Rudolph let the fame go to his head a little.

Missed opportunity not letting Big Dom Disandro, the People’s Paisan, jump on and do the “hee haws.” No problem. He was probably busy in the Florida panhandle doing background checks on Jalen Carter cause he knew he’d slide to #9. Small price to pay to nab the Defensive ROY. There’s always next year.

8/10 Kelce Clauses:

Santa’s Night

A Jason Kelce original. Again what can this guy not do? He’s got us thinking about Santa’s existential self. He wrote a Christmas song while on dad duty. Wild stuff.

It helps that you can picture Jason Kelce as Santa in real life. Like I think if Santa recorded a song his voice would sound like this. But anyway the lyrics, the imagery, the gravelly voice. I love it all. This is an All-Pro center writing a little Christmas diddy. Save some talent for the rest of us little people Kelc. Love the idea of Christmas not being one day a year, too.

7/10 Christmas Clauses. Only reason it’s that low is because he’s got a song later with his brother they turned into an absolute classic:

Christmas Time is Here ft. The Philly Specials Children’s Choir

Hand up…I never liked this song. Just never got into it during Christmas time. Immediately turn the dial when it comes on B-101. Don’t really even love Charlie Brown’s Christmas if we’re getting that much into the trust tree. It’s no Great Pumpkin obviously. But coming off the backs of a classic like Santa’s Night and Dominick the Donkey the vibes are high. This one just brings down the mood. Someone puts this one on at the Christmas party you know it’s time to go pour yourself another glass of nog and get a Christmas cookie. Find something to do for three minutes until the next banger comes on.

I hate being this hard on children, but someone’s gotta do it. Tough, but fair.

4/10 Kelce Clauses

All I Want For Christmas is You


This was released as a single earlier this month. I reviewed it here.


Pretty Paper ft. Waxahatchee

All weekend I’ve been going around my apartment mimicing, “Pretty Paper” like Lane. It’s solid and I typically don’t like country western Christmas songs. Maybe I’m harder on the children’s choir because I know they couldn’t flatten my ass like an All-Pro right tackle could if our paths ever crossed. That’s fair. You think the Source’s music critics weren’t nicer to Death Row Records artists knowing Suge Knight could have them killed in a second? Of course they were! Same applies here.

Lane gets 7/10 Kelce Clauses (please don’t kick my ass):

The Dreidel Song ft. Howie Roseman

You have never heard the Dreidel Song like you are right now. Holy shit. That first guitar riff I felt like I was in a standoff in the desert with a cowboy. I don’t know where Howie Roseman is on this song, but apparently he’s on it. Did the Philly Specials make the dreidel cool?

8/10 Kelce Clauses:

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas ft. Jordan Davis

Jordan Davis is amazing on this. Not only can he run 16 mph late in games at 330 pounds:

He can sing like this:

Is this the most talented football team off the field in the NFL? Probably.

8/10 Kelce Clauses:



Fairytale of Philadelphia ft. Travis Kelce


This was released as a single earlier this month that I reviewed here.

A little bit more on this. Shane MacGowan, the lead singer of The Pogues, who wrote the original song Fairytale of New York passed away recently. Jason Kelce paid him a great tribute:


Auld Lang Syne ft. Silver Ages

Another Christmas song I could never get into, but the inclusion of different Eagles players is perfect! It reminds me of Santa Clause is Coming to Town from last year except the mood is a complete 180. We finish the album with some sentimentality from the Birds thanking the fans, players, training staff and more. Shout out to Vanilla Nice running around in his Alabama jersey. He’s definitely LOVING the new CFB Playoff that just dropped! The committee got it right. Argue with a wall.

7/10 Kelce Clauses



This stop motion Philly Christmas Special they made for the album is one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen. Apparently it took over 5,000 hours to make: