Who Will the Eagles Choose to Fill Out the Paisan Triumvirate?
The Paisanvirate is currently my Roman Empire. I can’t stop thinking about who the Eagles will hire to fill it out. Three paisans for their three most important coaching roles. Nick Sirianni is Caesar, Vic Fangio is Marcus Aurelius, but who is our Brutus? There has to be a Brutus. The OC could be in line for the next head coaching job. Here are some candidates. Sicily on three!
Steve Addazio
This guy has already coached in Philly. He knows that the media can be tough when you’re coaching at a highly-scrutinized program like Temple.
Right now the locker room is in shambles. What does the locker room need? More dudes. Because what’s better than guys being dudes?
John DeFilippo
Photo: USA Today Sports
I don’t know if we have enough money to pry him from the UFL, and if he’d want to take a demotion to become the OC. Who was the QB coach when the Carson Wentz had one of the greatest seasons from a QB in Eagles history? That’s right. Johnny D. Him and Carson apparently didn’t get along cause he coached him too hard. Good news is our QB currently is a masochist. The harder you coach him, the better he performs. We’ve got no time to waste. Get DeFilip back in the 215. We’ve got a Super Bowl to win.
Eric Mangini
The Mangenius!
Read that quote again.
Do you want the pain of discipline or the pain of regret? If The Mangenius is good enough for Tony Soprano he should be good enough for the Philadelphia Eagles:
…though Tony never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
Joe Flacco
How many bullets are really left in the gun for Joe Cool? We might’ve seen the last he had left in him this season. But if you can drag the corpse of the Cleveland Browns to the playoffs, you can do anything. Especially call plays in the NFL. All that time as a back up for his entire career finally pays off. We ride Flacco and Hurts to a Super Bowl. Worse case scenario is Jalen gets hurt and we have the first player/coach in the history of football take over. Be honest, would you rather have Flacco or Marcus Mariota/Tanner McKee take over in a pinch? The choice is easy, baby:
Joe Flacco’s eating Ws today 😂 pic.twitter.com/u4GKOYLbu4
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) December 3, 2017
Steve Mariucci
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!
The chemistry between these two is like fire and gasoline. Tell me this isn’t a match made in heaven:
JALEN HURTS GOT FREAKY AND BROKE A DUDES ANKLES pic.twitter.com/gNLRhymUCI
— Jeff McDevitt (@JeffMcDev) November 21, 2021
Brock Olivo
I honestly don’t know who this guy is. I got him off a Wikipedia list of Italian Americans in sports and picked him because he coached running backs for the Philadelphia Stars. They went to the USFL title game the first year in existence. I mean the guy coached the Italian National Football Team for god’s sake. He probably watches Rocky before every game and falls asleep to Goodfellas.
Dude also has absolutely blind confidence. Need that when you gotta potentially stab someone in the back:
The only problem is we might actually lose this guy to Congress:
Unlike Brock, we might have to abort.
Dan Marino
Again, Jalen likes to be coached hard. We might need someone with piss and vinegar flowing through their veins at all time. Who better than one of the best QBs of all time, who holds themselves accountable more than anyone? –
Hey Dan, you want Philly Philly?
Vinny Testaverde, Danny Amendola, Rich Basaccia all play. The list is endless. Hit me with any more I might’ve missed!