I gotta give credit where credit is due. Shout out to me for putting together this hilarious edit:

I just want to thank me for being so fucking funny and creative and Saquon Barkley’s frontal lobe taking control of his body in that moment. Scientists will be studying this clip for centuries. It’s not every day you get to catch such an authentic human interaction on film.

I’m not gonna lie, I’d rather a black guy treat me exactly the way Saquon did when we meet. Firm handshake like I’m meeting my girlfriend’s dad is fine by me. I don’t want to fumble the dap. There is nothing that will humble you more. Black people are just so much smoother than we are. I don’t know if it’s practice, melatonin, or evolution but I can’t get the hang of the full sequence. Now, have I had some clean daps in my life that have surprised my black friends like Billy Hoyle at the playground? Of course. But that’s at like 50% speed. You start introducing the snap and I’m cooked:

As I get older I find myself in the “I love you bro” embrace. No better feeling when you connect on one of those. But that’s typically done with just friends. On daps with strangers I’m a career .300 hitter. That might get you in the Hall of Fame in MLB, but this isn’t MLB. This is life.

And wait until you realize I have abnormally clammy hands, too. My hands feel like a dolphin’s skin constantly. It’s my crutch. So now I’m not only fucking up the dap, but you’re getting a moist handshake along with it. If you see me on the street can we agree to just follow the Stuart Scott motto?  Hugs and hand pounds baby.