The US Women’s Open is in Lancaster this weekend and we’ve already got our first casualty:

Should’ve shouted FOWL!

Did you know the Women’s US Open was going on right outside the city? Neither did I. But now I wish I did because it looks like we have an amazing group on our hands. We’ve got women Randy Johnson-ing birds and female John Daleys ripping heaters and signing autographs during the practice round:

There’s something so classic about a top-10 women’s golfer ripping darts in today’s climate. Give me a girl smoking cigs over some wench sucking down a mango vape pen that you’d have to surgically remove from her hand. A woman smoking cigs just screams confident and independent, but also wildly unpredictable. She doesn’t need you to text her 24/7, but she’ll also key your car if you don’t answer her while out with the guys. Sometimes you need that kind of unpredictability in your life just keep it from getting stale. Zack Wheeler can’t just throw straight gas. Sometimes he’s gotta mix in a change up.

It doesn’t hurt she looks like this too. Ay caramba:


 

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Instead of Malbon, Marlboro should be looking how to make inroads into golf:

 

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If you root for carnage at the US Open this is your kind of tournament because it’s absolutely dominating everyone right now. As of 2 p.m. only five golfers are under par:

The LPGA’s #1 player just shot a TEN on a par 3:

There’s so much blood on the groundkeeper’s hands up in Lancaster you’d think this was a LIV event.