This is a special day for myself and Crossing Broad. I’ve reached the 10,000 post milestone. Hooray!

I started in September of 2017, the first day of the Eagles’ Super Bowl-winning season, so the number averages out to 1,429 blog posts per year. Still waiting for that Pulitzer Prize, though if it never comes, I’m satisfied with in-depth works like “Who Farted on the Sixers Bench?“, “Ben Davis Thinks You’re a Pussy,” and “Guy Wearing ‘Fuck You’ Shirt in Front of Weston Wilson’s Family Only Adds to Historic Night at Citizens Bank Park.”

That said, nothing has been received as well as the 50 Hot Takes column, which has not been published in more than a year. The reason for that is I simply ran out of takes. When you do 50 takes per column, and something like 10 columns, that’s 500 takes right there. Nobody has that many takes locked away, not even a sports talk radio host. But after some time off, I was able to conjure up more takes and deliver an extra-spicy version to commemorate a landmark day in Crossing Broad history.

  1. Track is for people who can’t run and dribble a basketball at the same time.
  2. John Tortorella won’t be coaching the Flyers after this season.
  3. In addition to the blue 2023 Wild Card banner, the Phillies should take down the division banners. We fly flags for pennants and World Series only.
  4. You should not be allowed on social media unless your profile has both your real name and your real picture. This should be federal law, to put an end to anonymous losers and trolls.
  5. The biggest internet frauds are the alarmists who constantly claim that “World War 3” is coming. They say it after EVERYTHING – Russia, Ukraine, Israel, Iran – yet no World War 3. Iran could fire a missile that actually makes it to Israel and they will log on immediately to yell “WORLD WAR 3 IS COMING,” but it never does. Warmongering for engagement should result in prison time.
  6. There should be a moratorium on Eagles talk in the Philadelphia media from rookie minicamp through the start of voluntary OTAs.
  7. I propose a yearly test for sports writers, like a journalism Wonderlic. If you fail, you’re denied a credential. You have to pass it once per year in order to retain your access, kind of like a refereeing or medical license. This would ensure that people who go to the games and report on the teams actually know the difference between a pick and roll and dribble hand off.
  8. There should be a “captcha” for anyone giving their opinion on Israel and Gaza. The captcha is a map and you have to correctly point to Israel and Gaza. Then it unlocks and you can start typing.
  9. People don’t realize this, but between the Sixers arena proposal, the recent Wells Fargo Center upgrades, and the Comcast/Phillies sports complex redevelopment plan, there’s more private money financing those than pretty much every other big sports project in the entire country, going back 10 years now. We are a clear outlier and nobody has a clue.
  10. Social media food takes jumped the shark years ago. “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but ketchup belongs on a cheesesteak!” Nobody fucking cares.
  11. There’s nothing wrong with budget cuts at large American colleges. Everybody in academia, or on the political left, complains about this, but not a single person in the U.S. needs to go to West Virginia University to study Jazz. That’s what Juilliard is for.
  12. Once you get to age 32, you’ll have done everything there is to do in Philadelphia.
  13. Despite what Karen on Facebook will tell you, there’s no traffic in the suburbs. It does not exist.
  14. There absolutely should be a full ban on cell phones at concerts. We need some kind of targeted EMP device that disables all technology, forcing people to live in the moment and enjoy the show.
  15. American crowds are spoiled because performers come around so often. You know why crowds in Santiago, Chile, are awesome? Because a band will only go there once every 15 years. They don’t take it for granted.
  16. There’s no reason to watch boxing when MMA exists.
  17. Boxing refs need to lose the stupid bowtie.
  18. Howie Roseman’s “cap wizardry” is really just using a credit card. FOR INSTANCE – The Eagles still have two more years of Jason Kelce dead cap.
  19. “Smear the <redacted>” should come back with a more appropriate name. It was a great game, a combination of rugby, football, and wrestling.
  20. The biggest nothing burger story of 2024 is anything involving Kim Mulkey. Breaking news – coach that wins is also an asshole. She’s not the first and won’t be the last.
  21. There’s nothing wrong with using a Hotmail address. We were on the internet when you were in daycare. Show some respect.
  22. Millennial managers have the highest level of emotional intelligence. Why? Because we took a beating from shitty boomer bosses and built our entire leadership model on the premise of not being those people. We suffered so you don’t have to.
  23. Kay Adams was better on Good Morning Football, when she wore throwback NFL sweatshirts and was one of the guys.
  24. Gen Z doesn’t know how to communicate. Pick up the phone and call someone. Anybody who texts and says “is it okay if I call you?” is a dork.
  25. Gen Z also doesn’t know how to cook. Enough with the DoorDash. Pick up a pot or a pan.
  26. Most people in this country are classical liberals, though they might not realize it or want to admit it.
  27. Lifetime flying ban for people who immediately stand up and open the overhead bins as soon as the plane lands.
  28. $250 fine if your restaurant hours don’t match what’s currently listed on Google.
  29. You are required to call the music venue in Camden whatever it was called when you saw your first show there. If you went in the 90s, it’s the E-Centre. If your first show was at the Tweeter Center, then it’s the Tweeter Center. It’s not, and never will be, the “Freedom Mortgage Pavilion.”
  30. Boston? Great city. Full of history, quality food, walkable, plenty of things to do, asshole sports fans with terrible accents everywhere. It’s really not that much different than Philadelphia.
  31. Continuing with the New England theme – the most underrated city on the east coast is Portland, Maine.
  32. A lot of people misinterpreted the body positive movement to think it was okay to eat Big Macs every day and be 50 pounds overweight. That’s not what the message was. The message was to accept and love all types of bodies, not to make unhealthiness acceptable.
  33. Monsters Inc. is a top 5 all-time Disney movie.
  34. Bubble Guppies is the best children’s show currently running and it’s not even close. The creators should win multiple awards, especially the music director.
  35. Trashing the Philly airport is the “snowballs at Santa” of aviation talk. It’s a perfectly average airport and has been for at least 15 years now. Anyone who thinks Philly international is “the worst” needs to travel more.
  36. Too many Temple alumni in Philly sports media. It results in a palpable anti-Villanova bias.
  37. Being pro-America doesn’t make you anti-other countries.
  38. Is that a pollinator garden, or are you too lazy to take care of your property? A question for the philosophers.
  39. I propose a “25% rule” for ethnic jokes. For example, if you are 47% Polish, you can do a Polak joke. But if you’re only 23% Polish, it’s now racist, and you’re cancelled.
  40. If you used a word before it was deemed offensive, you should be allowed to continue using it. It’s the grandfather clause.
  41. The most annoying thing about South Philly is when the Italians criticize you for buying pasta sauce at the store. Your mom only made it from scratch? Ohhhh good for you! I’ve got two kids and a full time “job.” I’m buying pasta sauce from the store.
  42. Conor McGregor gets waxed by Michael Chandler this summer.
  43. Too much dick riding of Eagles players from Eagles fans, and in the media as well. Sometimes we are guilty of this and “need to do a better job,” as Andy Reid once said.
  44. There’s nothing wrong with betting against your team. You’re ensuring a positive outcome. Either your team wins or you win money. You’re not a fake fan if you bet the Cowboys to beat the Eagles in Dallas, you’re a pragmatic fan.
  45. If you’re in a bad mood all week because the Eagles lost on Sunday, you are a loser.
  46. If you let your wife boss you around, or make a “honey do” list, you are a loser. Make sure to establish this early in the relationship because there’s no coming back.
  47. You’re not actually mad at your spouse. You’re mad in general and your spouse is the only adult in the vicinity to take it out on.
  48. If you live in the city, in a house your parents paid off 20 years ago, you’re not allowed to cry about gentrification. Go yell at the neighbors who sold to the developers.
  49. Tom Petty’s worst song is Don’t Come Around Here No More. It should be retroactively removed from the Southern Accents album and the music video struck from existence.
  50. Happy 79th birthday to Bob Seger, but Old Time Rock & Roll is probably his worst song. I’d rather listen to Springsteen while being waterboarded. Every time the radio stations play Old Time Rock & Roll, they should be playing Rosalie instead.

On a more serious note, thank you all for the support over seven years and 10,000 posts. If nobody clicked on this stuff, we’d be flipping burgers. We write a lot of goofy shit, but we work hard at it. Iron sharpens iron.

PLAY THE SONG!