The Philadelphia Phoenix invited me out to defend my tomato pie title at halftime of their game on Saturday. The Lord of the Pies doesn’t ever back down from a tomato pie competition even if he was hated by everyone in that stadium. The hostility was merciless. The vitriol was hateful. But they don’t boo nobodies. Here’s how it went:

Don’t want to spoil the outcome for you….

 

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Spoilers incoming…

 

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ANNNNNNNNNND STILL!

That was nothing. I didn’t even break a sweat. Last year’s comp was WAY tougher. Frnacis was the crowd favorite and he gave up after one bite. Losers lose. And the crowd getting behind him proved how much of a bunch of losers they were. Peoples put up a fight, but he was so blasé about it from the get go. Who wears jeans and birkenstocks to an eating competition? I was the only one who came prepared. From my breakfast pie, to using the water to dunk it, to the stacking of the pieces it was flawless execution from me. This is a grown man’s league and I faced off against a couple boys. Hopefully next year I come back they’ll actually get me some competition…and the announcer will actually know how to pronounce my last name. That’s fine. More motivation to get better.

We also filmed a Men At Work episode. That’ll be out Wednesday so subscribe here if you want to see what kind of people come out to an Ultimate Frisbee game.