Hey shout out to K.D. for a great Olympic run. Knocked down some daggers and played a key role in the Gold medal triumph.

USA! USA! USA!

Now he’s back to investing:

Right, so we’ve already surmised that Kevin Durant may not be aware that he owns 5% of the Philadelphia Union, with an option to purchase 5% more. Now he’s buying a stake in one of the world’s biggest teams, so the Union may as well be pond scum on the bottom of his galoshes. All we wanted was for K.D. to do the bare minimum in recruiting. Get on a Zoom call with Antoine Griezmann or whatever 2nd division Estonian defender the Union are currently scouting. Say some nice things about the U and help us bring in some talent. But no. We get nothing. He instead goes and purchases a stake in another team, adds some more diversity to his portfolio, and continues not giving a flying fuck about the boys in blue.

K.D. has two options here: either sell your stake or get moving on a swap deal. We send Tai Baribo and Jack McGlynn to France. In return, we’ll take Marquinhos and Lucas Hernandez. Who says no? We’ll even throw in a bag of Thomas English Muffins.