New head coach for U.S. Soccer:

This is a “big fucking deal,” as Joe Biden once said to Barack Obama. Pochettino is probably the most accomplished person to ever head the USMNT, depending on how you feel about Jurgen Klinsmann’s pre-U.S. resume. We’re talking about an Argentina international with a 17-year playing career at clubs like PSG, Espanyol, and Newell’s, who, at the age of 52, has already helmed teams in Spain, England, and France. He’s coming off a brief stint with Chelsea but best known for his time with Tottenham, a five-year period in which Spurs had five straight top-5 Premier League finishes and went to a Champions League final. His teams have historically been attack-minded high pressers and Spurs played 4-2-3-1 during that time period, a shape that fits the current midfield-rich U.S. roster. Poch has been credited for the way he manages individual players, and we could use quite a bit of that to get these guys to the next level.

Excellent hire though, for real. If you would have told someone last year that we’d go from Gregg Berhalter to Mauricio Pochettino, they would have told you to lay off the whippets. And the other thing about Poch is that he’s South American, played in Argentina, and has 20 caps for his country. He’ll have an understanding of the ridiculous CONCACAF and CONMEBOL shithousery, with the constant fouling and flopping and gamesmanship that defines soccer in both Americas. Everyone knows the Argentinians love to get stuck in, and if he can mix that mettle with the classic American determination, we could have a banger of a team here.

If nothing else, this hire should replenish the USMNT gas tank, a tank that has been running on fumes for some time now. This is exciting. If this guy turned Spurs into a respectable club, imagine what he can do for us. Heyo! (P.S. – nothing against Spurs, I just needed to do a Tottenham joke at some point because I was ripping Arsenal so frequently on this site that people were emailing me asking me if I was a Spurs fan, which I am not)