This quote from Jerry Jones via Clarence Hill Jr. at AllDlls.com should be music to Eagles fans’ ears:

“I’ve done it all. So I have an ordinate amount of confidence that fuck, if anybody can figure out how to get this shit done, I can figure out how to get it done,” Jones said. “I’ve been there every which way from Sunday, and have I busted my ass a bunch, a bunch. And there’s nobody living that’s out cutting and shooting that can’t give you a bunch of times they busted their ass. So hell no, there’s nobody that could fucking come in here and do all the contracts … and be a GM any better than I can.

“There is no better GM in the NFL than Jerry Jones!” – Jerry Jones

Since 1996 the Cowboys haven’t sniffed an NFC Championship game. They’ve won five playoff games since then. Jerruh is the answer to what it would look like if fantasy football became real life. And it looks like he just woke up from his post-lunch nap:

The quotes get even better as the article continues:

Of course, Jones was just getting wound up. He said he is the one for the job because of what he has been through in life, the hard times of waking up not knowing if he could pay a bill and that includes his wife Gene Jones having her credit cards cut up.

“I fucking have had hundreds of [bad days],” Jones said. “I’m emotional about it sometimes. Well, running this thing, that’s who I want to make the last call. Now, when I can’t fucking think, when I’m old and I can’t even do it… but I’m a long way from not being able to do it too.

“The reason I don’t let somebody else be the GM is because I don’t have anybody that I will let do it to actually do it right. And they’re gonna have to come to me and because I know where it is that you’re going to pay for it.”

“Now, when I can’t fucking think, when I’m old and I can’t even do it… I’m a long way from not being able to do it too.” What a quote.


This guy doesn’t even remember saying the Cowboys would be “all in” a couple months ago:

All in must mean Zeke, Eric Kendricks, and Jourdan Lewis. When Howie fleeces him in a James Bradberry trade now that Daron Bland went down, he might get sued for ageism.

I used to think the fun would come to an end once Jones croaks. But I’m really starting to think Jerry forced the team to build this special AI hologram so that he can make personnel decisions from beyond the grave:

Take the 10.5 win under at PA sports betting apps. This is going to be a dumpster fire with Jerry’s hold on the GM role.