Shitty news if you’re Travis Konecny. His Haddonfield house caught fire Tuesday night. Luckily he wasn’t home. Here’s the story Action News broadcasted earlier:

There are no suspects currently, but I think we can put every single NHL player TK has ever chirped in his career on a short list.

The entire 2019 Penguins roster? You’ve made the list.

@barstoolphilly

Elite chirps by Travis Konecny #philly #flyers #nhl #hockey

♬ original sound – Barstool Philly

Where was Austin Watson on the night of August 20th?

Hopefully not in South Jersey.


You better have a good back story there, Rasmus Dahlin:

Shout out to my detective work. I’m sure the Haddonfield detectives and the FBI will be in touch shortly for my help on the case. Too bad I’ll be down the shore this weekend boys, but I’ll return your calls when I get around to them Monday.

I know now might not be the time to give TK some unsolicited advice, but if someone wants to send this over to him it’ll probably help. You gotta take a page out of Ilya Bryzgalov’s playbook and invest in a Russian dungeon made of stone:

Good news actually. The house is on the market right now for $3.5 million. Once you get that homeowner’s insurance check sell that fixer upper and we can move you right down the street into a house fit for an oligarch.

Lets check in on the Flyers subreddit to see how they’re reacting to the news:

I love it.  Never change Internet.