If you’re like me and half-watched the 1 p.m. games because the Eagles were on a bye and you were nervously counting down the hours until the Phillies first pitch then you probably don’t remember a single second. And the 4 p.m. window? Not a chance. That’s why I’m here. To catch you up to speed on everything you missed in the NFC on Sunday.

Unfortunately, every team in the division won, and there weren’t many games that bounced the Eagles way. Without even playing the Eagles now sit third in the NFC East behind the Commies and the Cowboys and are tied for 10th in the conference. This week the teams ahead of the Eagles that won were the Falcons (Thursday),Vikings, Bears, Commies, Packers, and Cowboys.

Lets get into the NFC East first because that’s what we all care about…

Commies 34, Browns 13

The Commies are the first team to score 150 points in their first five games with a rookie QB:

What did the Commies do to deserve Jayden Daniels? He’s on a shortlist to win MVP. He’d be the second rookie ever to win it.


It’s like they recreated a less corny RGIII:

Imagine if Joe Schoen listened to his kid.

They might give him the job after they let him go:

The Browns on the other hand might be the worst team in football. And they’re not just bad, they’re dysfunctional. Deshaun Watson walked off the field and made the Browns burn a timeout on 4th down because he didn’t feel like going for it:

The trade for Deshaun Watson is going to go down as a top-5 worst of all time. Up there with the Saints trading all their picks to the Redskins for Ricky Williams, the Herschel Walker trade, and the Bears moving up to get Mitch Trubisky. Those all pale in comparison to trading for a guy with the amount of baggage he had at the time and then guaranteeing him $230 million.

What should the Browns do? Terry Bradshaw has an idea. Kill him!

The good news is when you pay someone that much money they’re not going to get benched. So we’ll get Watson in the Linc next week:

If Nick Sirianni doesn’t beat the Browns by four touchdowns his head should be on the chopping block:

The worst part is they’ve lost John Fanta:

 

Giants 29, Seahawks 20

I didn’t catch one second of this nail biter:

Could you imagine being a Giants and Mets fan and going through the highs and lows of Sunday? That blocked field goal happened three minutes before Nick Castellanos walked it off.

Pretty impressive win from the Giants. No Malik Nabers, on the road, and a motivated Seahawks team coming off a loss on Monday Night Football. It also didn’t start out great:

But it’s not how you start. It’s how you finish. Give him another extension!

257 yards, 2 touchdowns, 109.6 passer rating. EXTEND HIM!

EXTEND HIM!

God he’s such a dork:

He’s like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights. What do I do with my hands?

 

Cowboys 20, Steelers 17

This game didn’t end til 1 a.m. because of a weather delay:

It played out exactly like a game that Elon Musk would show up too. Chaotic and the madness playing out in front of millions on Twitter:

 

The Cowboys did everything they could to lose this game:

I can feel the CeeDee Lamb and Dak Prescott relationship beginning to sour:

That didn’t stop Dak:

I’m telling you they did everything they could to try and lose this game:

Of course they ended up pulling a last second win out of their ass. KaVontae Turpin could barely walk the play before and Mike McCarthy calls up a play for him on 4th and goal and the game on the line:

Other highlights from around the NFC…

Vikings 23, Jets 17

This is not the Aaron Rodgers Jets fans thought they were trading for. Another game with three interceptions and there were some hits he took where you didn’t think he was getting up:

I remember a time when you did the discount double check Aaron Rodgers would make you pay for it:

The Vikings fans were AWESOME:

Lets check in on the 5-0 Vikings fans #Skol:

Cardinals 24, 49ers 23

The 49ers might stink. Former Eagles Jonathan Gannon and Kyzir White have them now sitting at 2-3 and things aren’t looking much better:

That Dre Greenlaw is out of control.

Remember a player not in uniform can involve himself and potentially escalate a fight, but the team security can’t break anything up because of some rule the NFL made up about coaching titles. Make it make sense:

 

Brock Wentz?

Packers 24, Rams 19

The Packers are 3-2 and have weathered the two games Jordan Love missed to injury:

The Rams are injured, but they’re also really really bad. Here’s Sean McVay staring at 1-4:

Bears 36, Panthers 10

There wasn’t much to this game. If you’re a Bears fan you have to love the Bears beating up on a bad team and taking out the trash. Caleb Williams is a nice story, but the Bears still don’t scare me. They’ve beaten the Panthers, Rams, and Titans. The defense is good, but I expect Caleb Williams to start regressing back to Earth and look more like the guy we saw in the preseason:

When the first caveman made fire:

Ok this might go down as a top-5 worst trade in the NFL: