There’s a guy taking a 76er in the backyards of Northeast Philly:

Head on a swivel for the good people of NEP. There is a potential serial pooper stealing toddler’s clothes and using them as toilet paper while he fertilizes your back lawn.

Is this even illegal by the way? Sometimes you just have an emergency. Notice in the picture he went all the way to the last house to to do it. This feels like it might’ve been DEFecateCON 5. As a guy who has had some emergency shits in his day I’ve shit outdoors plenty of times in some of the scariest places. Golf course bushes, the James Gandolfini rest stop, a porta potty in Jetro. I never understood people who were afraid to shit in public. I’ve shit on a plane before which is probably the craziest place anyone can do it. That one I’m not proud of. Not only do your balls almost scrape the bottom of the toilet and it’s tough to maneuver enough to wipe, but you also have to be quick unless everyone knows you shit in there and that’s humiliating.

Anyway, this will be amazing to see play out. Nobody is rooting for the Dookie Bandit more than the Swiss Cheese Pervert to take over his mantle as NEP’s most wanted.

I wonder who cleans that up? I’ve got an idea: