You want to know how I immediately knew this was going to be a boring interview? This is the headline: On the Road With Jalen Hurts, Who Requires a Microwave in His Hotel Room. That’s it. That’s the thing that is supposed to capture the reader into clicking on the story. An entire interview with one of the best QBs in the NFL and the most interesting thing Jalen Hurts told this guy is that he requires a microwave in his hotel room. He is uber-boring and I LOVE IT! I read it so I guess it hooked me, but here was his explanation for the microwave via Matthew Roberson at GQ.com:

Do you still like being in a hotel?

You know, football is different from the other sports because we don’t travel as much. But when we do, it’s more people traveling. So it depends on the city. Sometimes you’re staying in more rural areas, and sometimes you’re staying in well-established downtown areas. I enjoy seeing what each hotel has to offer.

One thing that is mandatory is having a microwave in my room. There’s always an issue when I go to warm up my food. We’ll run into fans that are staying at the hotel, roaming around the hallways, going floor to floor. When you’re at the hotel, you just want to relax and get geared up for the next day. Sometimes that’s challenging when you’re moving around. When I get to a new city, there are times when I’ll go out to eat, but that’s rare. I like being able to chill, soak in the time, and reset for what’s to come: Sunday fun day.

Riveting stuff!

Believe it or not that wasn’t even the last of the hotel talk. There was more:

Where are some of the places where you have to stay in a rural area?

We played in Cincinnati this year. It’s a great place, it kind of reminds me of Oklahoma or parts of Texas. But I had no idea where we were, and didn’t know what to expect. That’s no knock! I just had no idea. When you stay in places like that—which was a great hotel, a big convention center hotel—compared to staying in LA by the Staples Center or Midtown in Dallas, you notice the difference. But every trip brings its own memory, and that’s what’s special about it.

This guy is top 5 in the MVP race and he’s talking about his favorite hotels like he’s you or I at a dinner conversation post-30. I’ve actually never related to a gazillionaire professional athlete more. My conversation with a couple friends out at breakfast the other day turned into a borderline strategy meeting about the best practices when opening up a new credit card. Who do I refer so they get a kick back on the points? What’s the APR? “I really want to maximize my cash back at grocery stores since prices are so high right now.” was an actual thing that came out of my mouth. 20s Kyle would want to Powerbomb 30s Kyle out of the 2nd floor window of McGillin’s if he heard me talking. I can admit I’m boring now.

But boring is cool. Boring is in. Give a boring-ass QB, pair him with a boring-ass coach, and a boring-ass team.


Boring is the new exciting:

Just keep giving the most boring answers you can, QB1. If you’re so boring the media won’t even want to talk to you, let them argue and make up their own narratives:

It’s better than the alternative:

This doc is going to STINK out loud. I even like Aaron Rodgers and I have zero interest in watching this. What’s the mystery?