How bout that game? What a classic! Back and forth! Coming down to the wire! It was everything you could ask for when you’re trying to squeeze out as much football as you can before it’s taken away from you in February. And the fact that my Irish came out victorious? I couldn’t ask for a better ending.

There was never a doubt. I knew Penn State were frauds and that their flaws would show as soon as they couldn’t beat up on the Mountain West and ACC. I’m so happy they made it to the Final Four because we got to watch Penn State fans talk themselves back into this team and James Franklin – just to have their hearts ripped out AGAIN. It’s like everyone knew how this story was going to end except the folks in Happy Valley. I just couldn’t decide if I wanted it in the semi-finals or against Ohio State so the kill shot did maximum damage.

Luckily for me I got my pound of flesh. You couldn’t write a better script than how that played out. Let the Nits get up 10-zip, have Notre Dame make it a game, watch PSU fans start to convince themselves they’re going to get the monkey off their back just for Drew Allar to complete his first pass to someone other than a tight end… except that guy had a golden dome on. CINEMA! Your tears of unfathomable sadness. They are delicious! Luckily for me, when Al Gore’s Internet was created, so was the message board for every middle-aged man to release gigabytes of pent up frustration a therapist just isn’t qualified enough to handle. Like this guy who is questioning his entire existence:

I am imagining this guy sitting in some dark room with a bottle of whiskey and Allar’s interception on the TV playing on repeat. His bloodshot eyes are fighting sleep, the “No Names, All Game” sweatshirt his wife got him for Christmas has tiny brown stains on it from the dribble of Jack Daniels that leaks out of his mouth with each pull, his wife had to hide the Cutco set her parents got them as a wedding present, and by now he can recite Greg McElroy’s entire monologue about how careful Allar has been with the ball his entire career. “Drew Allar has made good decisions. Drew Allar has made good decisions,” he mumbles to no one:

The red dot next to his profile picture on Microsoft Teams will not be turning green today.


This Penn State fan is taking the loss extra hard. He’s sad of course, but he can’t decide if it’s from his wife having surgery or a bunch of 20-year-olds losing a football game. It’s equal parts amazing and equal parts sad the stranglehold sports has on our brains:

If I had to guess James Franklin’s next excuse is his private helicopter doesn’t have enough seats for scouts to come with him on recruiting visits:

Man some Peachy Paterno does sound good right about now.

Can’t argue this:

Allahu Touchdown Jesus Akbar:

I’ll miss you Penn State fans. I’ll miss you Big Game James. Until next year:

JoePa has to be so pissed down there.

h/t Message Board Geniuses