
Official Cheese Might be the Biggest Signing of the Union Offseason
Atlanta United is breaking the MLS transfer fee record with a $22 million haul for Middlesboro forward Emmanuel Latte Lath. Meantime, the Philadelphia Union have added a new cheese sponsor:
Ready to keep it cheesy with @TheCooperCheese! 🧀🤝
📝 https://t.co/PTKe9QvCVY#DOOP pic.twitter.com/VEL11PPBIM
— Philadelphia Union (@PhilaUnion) January 30, 2025
This stuff will never not be funny. Teams like Atlanta and Miami and LA are out here really making a splash, and the only thing the Union have done this offseason is bring in a center back on loan and promote some academy kids. Then here comes the “official cheese” tweet. No offense to Cooper, of course, because it’s good cheese. Can’t wait to shove a block in my mouth after Tai Baribo scores a fucking belter in the home opener.
Optics-related jokes aside, the Union only recently had a FIFA registration ban lifted. That was due to a discrepancy over a $700 payment owed to Jose Riasco’s former club. They do not typically make their Winter signings until later in the window, so maybe Ernst Tanner surprises us and pulls a rabbit out of his Red Bull hat and signs three future All Stars next week. Who knows? This is the same guy who created a team that scored 72 goals, conceded 26, and should have won the title in 2022, so “in Ernst we trust,” right? That’s still a thing… I think.
The thing that’s bothersome about all of this is that it feels like the Union don’t contribute much to the boundary-pushing that’s taken place in MLS over the years. Miami went out and got Lionel Messi. Atlanta spends money. Even Columbus will surround their Union-esque club with a couple of superstars to take it to the next level. The only thing the Union have ever contributed to the league’s growth is a strong academy, which has produced players like Brenden Aaronson, Mark McKenzie, and Cavan Sullivan, whose destinies take them away from Philadelphia and maybe to the USMNT. That’s all good and well, but be honest with yourself – this team was more exciting when we were playing “name that trialist” and hearing juicy rumors about foreign signings. Promoting the kids is expected, and good, but also boring. Breaking league transfer fees moves the needle. Ambition moves the needle. That’s what gets people excited and that’s what sells season tickets. You’re never going to get that from Jay Sugarman, which we’ve all accepted at this point, but it will always be deflating.