I saw online that accountability is back. Elon Musk apparently sent out an email where federal employees had to reply with five things they did at work last week. People absolutely freaked out, but to me that’s an easy ask. Why stop at the Fed though? Let me tell you what I did today and you can decide whether I’m fit to still be working here or not. Please send all your feedback to my manager k.kinkead@sportradar.com:

  1. Watched Super Bowl 59 for the 71st time. I can’t get over the DeVonta Smith Dagger. I just keep switching back and forth from the mic’d up and the recording on my TV. Great background noise.  Super Bowl 59 absolutely upstages 52 and I don’t want to hear any argument. That was an absolute beatdown from start to finish. This franchise became America’s new team that night.
  2. Scrolled Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter for a combined seven hours. Honestly it’s part of my job soooooo. I’m constantly stuck with the tough decision to write about A.J. Brown being a misunderstood athlete or the guy from Delco who was trading sex for glasses. You think that’s easy? Btw, anyone in Folcroft I see with a brand new pair of Ray-Bans just know I’m judging you. Also, this guy is saying he was taken up on his offer 30+ times. Sounds like they’re blurring the lines between entrepreneurship and breaking the law, amirite?
  3. Recorded videos that were denied by brand(s). Sometimes brand(s) and I don’t see eye to eye. They don’t get my humor. It’s labeled as “sophomoric” and “juvenile” or it toes the line of inflammatory topics. Try to make a joke about planes falling faster than Kansas’ tourney hopes and somehow I’m the problem. That’s fine. Enjoy something vanilla then, so I can check a box! It wasn’t even the video that upset the most people today:

  4. Recorded voiceover for a YouTube video, re-recorded it, hated it, then gave up on it, and let the already overdue video sit in the folder. Sometimes it be like that. I’m no better than the Federal employees who just play Candy Crush and take two-hour lunch breaks. That Super Bowl video will be out when it’s out. Definitely this week. I promise.*
  5. Hooked up an ice machine. Actually my fiance did. We haven’t had ice in our freezer for almost six months and the repair man has been here like five times trying to fix it with the same results every time. It’s ridiculous and my building refuses to replace the fridge. So my property manager dropped off an ice machine. And you know what…it’s cool as hell. Look at these ice cubes! They look like those eraser heads you used to put on top of pencils:

Cool, right?

Came with a dope ice scoop too:

Your boy is so back! I’ve been drinking ice coffee without the ice for too long. Imagine how powerful I’m going to become when the coffee isn’t room temperature by 9:30 in the morning.

So that’s what I did today. Let me know what you think, Elon.


*Who knows.