Big week for Catholicism if you already didn’t know. I would say one of the most underrated weeks for a Catholic school kid. Yesterday was Fat Tuesday, which was one of the best days to grub of the year. Unlimited donuts and king cake galore. You’re stuffing your face because you know Lent starts tomorrow and you gotta sacrifice something to the Big Man for the next 40 days. Then the next day you get out of class for Ash Wednesday. Nothing beats the arms race between you and your boys comparing ashes. It was the original dick measuring contest back in Jerusalem. On the other end, nothing made you feel guiltier then when you accidentally brushed against that thing at recess wiping sweat away. I thought for sure I was destined for hell in that moment. You might not know this, but this is one of the most important Ash Wednesdays of all-time. This will be the last time Tony Reali will be on Around the Horn with ashes on his forehead. End of an era.

I’m rating ashes over on Twitter right now. It’s Judgement Day. Nobody is better at it than me. I’m an Ash Man. Tag me in a pic and #LemmeSeeThatAsh!

Lets get into a couple submissions already:

5/10. Started strong at the start and fell apart in the end. The 2023 Eagles of ashes.

1/10. Time to retire the thumb if this is all you have. 2010 Jamie Moyer had more left in the tank.


10/10! HOLY SHIT! SAVE SOME ASH FOR THE REST OF US MAN!

One of our most famous Gentiles Mark Wahlberg of course got in on it:

 

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DQ/10. Not entirely convinced Marky Mark didn’t just do this himself because he was too busy. Never seen an ash with 6% body fat. Ashes aren’t even safe in Hollywood from Ozempic #StayPrayedUp:

 

666/10. Going to hell.

The Mayor of Boston apparently is getting grilled by Congress today for some reason, but she still had time to get her ashes:

7/10. Grading this ash on a curve because of the strategy behind it. Wasn’t it Jesus who said, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone”?

 

9/10. Love to see the Gentiles stunting on the Chosens. Tough next 40 days for the Jews. People don’t forget!

7/10. Don’t get me wrong these are SOLID ashes all around! Had to be one of the first 10 people in line or they got lucky and the priest just made a fresh batch. Ashes on the dog is such white people shit though that I had to knock some points off.

2/10. I hope this guy got a refund.

Send me over a pic of your ashes. I love rating ashes! #AshMan