This video of Juan Soto hitting a home run directly at a fan heckling him is everywhere right now. Probably because it is the most satisfying feeling in the world to shut someone up without even having to open your mouth:

Except there is no chance he shut this guy up. Sure, those were grade school chirps from the heckler, but you can’t expect too much from a guy with a ponytail and goatee in 2025 yelling at a guy half his age that is soon to be billionaire – during Spring Training. I mean, did you see the way that guy tracked that home run? Michael Jordan wasn’t the only one that got cut sophomore year.

Everyone’s talking about the embarrassment this guy must be feeling. What we’re not talking about is the groundbreaking fashion of the heckler:

Holy shit. I thought the Box Demon was in Pennsylvania. It turns out the Box Demon is chilling in Port St. Lucie. Is that just a pullover? A smock from Port St. Lucie Mental? Did this guy just reinvent the fashion game? I get there are absolutely no rules in Florida and shame flies out the window once you arrive in Jacksonville. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. The confidence to rock this. I didn’t even know they made the side slit in mens. The pop collar, short sleeves, and breathability defies the laws of physics. I’d say I feel bad for this guy, but he oozes sex and doesn’t obey societal norms. He feels bad for me. So what he didn’t catch the ball. A.J. Brown doesn’t catch everything thrown his way. But did you see him high point it?

You know why he could do that? Because he wasn’t restricted by what society deems fashion.


Shout out to this guy. I’ve been on the other end of a chirp that has backfired before. I still contest I would’ve beaten Kyrie in a battle of wits if I didn’t have a Wells Fargo Center security guard chicken winging me off screen:

The other time it backfired is when Temple was playing Memphis in 2014 at the Linc. Me and my buddies were on the Memphis sideline because when you can get a front row seat at a Temple football game you take the opportunity. We were heckling none other than Jake Elliott who missed a 45 yard field goal early in the game. It was a slobber-knocker as the Owls were bottling up Paxton Lynch all day. It came down to the last drive of the game, 2:40 left, score tied 13-13, and Memphis starting at Temple’s 14. What do the Tigers do? They drive 66 yards and Elliott hits a 31-yarder to win the game. I never even saw it go through. I was too busy walking up the steps with my tail between my legs. I obviously never learned my lesson.