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The Onion Takes Aim at Penn State
By Kyle Scott
Published:
I estimate that about 8% of people in Happy Valley won’t realize this is satire and will just nod their heads in agreement. Damn Buckeyes, casting a dark, black cloud over our beloved institution.
The rest of you will laugh.
Following a humiliating 63-14 defeat against Ohio State over the weekend, officials at Pennsylvania State University on Tuesday called the blowout loss a blemish on the school’s storied football program, and the college’s biggest disgrace in recent memory. “Frankly, it’s unacceptable to have the Nittany Lions associated with something loathsome like this,” head coach Bill O’Brien told reporters, claiming that his team’s one-sided loss—its worst in nearly 114 years—does not align with the school’s values, and represents a black eye from which it may never recover.
O’Brien would go on to say that he didn’t meet with his team to go over the loss until Monday. Why disrupt their weekend?, he asked rhetorically.
Kyle Scott is the founder and editor of CrossingBroad.com. He has written for CBS Philly and Philly Voice, and been a panelist or contributor on NBC Sports Philly, FOX 29 and SNY TV, as well as a recurring guest on 97.5 The Fanatic, 94 WIP, 106.7 The Fan and other stations. He has more than 10 years experience running digital media properties and in online advertising and marketing.