DeVonta Smith has a charity softball game on June 10th at Coca Cola Park against a team led by Commies receiver Jahan Dotson. The list of players is pretty impressive:

Jalen Hurts, BG, TO, Ochocinco, Sauce, and Saquon is quite a lineup. The game is basically a matchup between the Eagles vs. the NFC East and you can get tickets here.

Coach Avonte Maddox is going to have a hard time with the lineup so I’ll throw him a bone and help out.

  1. DeVonta Smith – Leading off you need speed. You better play the infield in because any contact he makes he’s beating it out down the line with 4.4 speed.
  2. Jalen Hurts – Coach on the field and a coach off the field. He’s going to make the right decision 10/10 times. He’ll make contact and move DeVonta into scoring position, put one in the gap, or go foul pole to foul pole and clear the bases. Don’t forget who walked it off last year against Micah Parsons:

#3 Terrell Owens – If there is one gap in DeVonta’s team it’s that it lacks a #3 hitter. We’ll throw TO in here. I feel like this is a boom or bust move. Say Jalen and DeVonta get on he’s either grounding into a double play, popping up, or jacking a three run home run. There’s no in between. He’s still built like an Adonis, but remember this dude is pushing 50.

#4 Dallas Goedert – Easy cleanup hitter. I wouldn’t be surprised if Goedert finishes with four home runs that day. With AJ Brown not playing this year he’s my pick to win the pre-game Home Run Derby:

#5 Brandon Graham – If Goedert can’t get the job done BG will.

#6 Nakobe Dean – I’m basically building the 80s Oakland A’s in the middle of the lineup. Good luck getting past that 4, 5, or 6 hitter unscathed.

#7 Darius Slay – I don’t know if Slay has the softball chops. He doesn’t strike me as an elite multi-sport athlete. He’ll have no problem telling you he is though. I feel like he just found the perfect sport at a young age for him and stuck with it.

#8 James Bradberry – Bradberry is in the same bucket as Slay. Not enough tape. Any production we can get from our #7 and #8 hitters is a win.

#9 Jake Elliot – Give me some pop in the 9 hole!

Solo shots all day because of the unknown from our #7 and #8 hitter. He’ll turn the lineup over and it’ll be death by 1,000 cuts from Team Smith until Saquon waves the white flag like the Giants did in the playoffs.

If Jahan Dotson does want to win he waits until after the anthem to unleash his secret weapon. He should bring out Donovan McNabb just to watch TO absolutely crumble. That would be worth the price of admission alone. Instead of having Brian Dawkins sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” have TO and McNabb re-hash everything from 04-05. Ochocinco can moderate. Mind games is the only chance Dotson has of winning next weekend.