Skip to content

Ad Disclosure

Eagles

I’d Kill to See Benzie Show His Robot Face at the Linc

Kyle Pagan

By Kyle Pagan

Published:

via @MBStadium on Twitter

Our robot overlords are inching closer and closer to enslaving us. The Falcons are introducing a new robot “dog,” named Benzie, to boost security at Mercedes-Benz Stadium:

According to Front Office Sports, Benzie will secure 11 acres around the stadium, sending real-time video and running in 30-minute shifts. I’m supposed to trust a robot that has the conditioning of Albert Haynesworth to protect me? Not to mention the facial recognition capability being absolutely useless. You know how many Eagles fans from Delco and NE Philly look alike? By the time it tries to analyze the same fade/beard combo its mainframe will fry. Then just as it’s seizing, BANG another Twea Light bounces off the dome.

You’ll thank us one day America. We’ve already tried to protect you before.

Hey Benzie. Boo!

Kyle Pagan
Kyle Pagan

Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com

Advertise With Us