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Flyers

Torts Says Flyers Beat Penguins Because They Have Balls

Kyle Pagan

By Kyle Pagan

Published:


The Flyers beat the Penguins in a shootout Saturday night while you were watching college football and the Big 5. Why? Because they have big ol’ massively round balls according to Torts:

Yea the Flyers do dumb shit, can’t build on momentum, and make some bonehead plays. But at least they leave the arena carrying their giant testicles out in a wheelbarrow every night. A Flyers team with balls is exactly what Flyers fans want.

Now as a casual I’ll be honest – I can’t get a good grip on this team. They don’t have any stars. Their core guys have either been injured or shipped off over the last couple of years and there’s a lot of young guys I get mixed up. Is Tyson Foerster Morgan Frost? Is Wade Allison Owen Tippett? Just found out one of those guys isn’t on the team anymore. But what I do know is Flyers fans will eat this kind of play up on the ice:

An overachieving team on the cusp of a playoff spot that plays with balls is exactly what Flyers fans ordered. They were down 2-1 in the third period and scored two goals before giving up the tying goal with 20 seconds to go in the game:

Sure they could’ve hung their heads after a backbreaking goal, but what did they do instead? Grind out OT before Coots shut it down:

BUNCH OF DOGS!

Kyle Pagan

Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com

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