Let's All Take Great Joy in Russian Coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov's Post-Game Misery
Not a good day for Russia. Its hockey team lost. Yulia Lipnitskaya fell. And Zinetula Bilyaletdinov might get eaten.
Speaking to reporters before presumably being whisked off to face a firing squad, Bilyaletdinov had some sad things to say. Transcriptions via the Wall Street Journal [edited from full-length version]:
Q: Is this a catastrophe?
A: This has certainly been an unsuccessful appearance.
Q: [Inaudible]
A: Let’s not play with words. I told you, we were unsuccessful. Call it what you will.
Q: What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—
A: Well then, eat me alive right now—
Q: No, I mean—
A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.
Q: But we have the world championship coming up!
A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.
Q: But you’re staying, aren’t you?
A: Yes, I will remain living.
Maybe.
via Deadspin