News

Joey Chestnut Almost Beats Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champ in Five Minutes Less Time

By Kyle Pagan

Published: Jul 5th, 2024 · 12:09 PM EDT

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Joey Chestnut polished off 57 hot dogs on a military base in El Paso, TX on the Fourth of July in only five minutes. The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champ* yesterday needed 10 minutes to eat 58. If it wasn’t already known it is now. Joey Chestnut is the greatest competitive eater of all time. The 2024 Nathan’s competition will forever have an asterisk next to Patrick Bertoletti’s name:

Joey Chestnut (@joeyjaws) comes out with the win in the 1v4 hot dog eating contest against four Fort Bliss soldiers.

Chestnut ate 57 hot dogs in 5 minutes. He was a hot dog short of tying Patrick Bertoletti’s winning performance in the 2024 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating… pic.twitter.com/uA1tWwYrNq

— Sam Guzman (@SamGuzmanTV) July 4, 2024

Did Nathan’s royally fuck up or what? Did a little sponsorship dispute rob us of witnessing a world record? How does the competition ever recover from this? ESPN tried to polish a turd like we couldn’t see right through the bullshit. The ratings had to be dog shit. There was no mention of Joey Chestnut or the fact that this wasn’t actually the best of the best. Not one mention that Bertoletti’s 58 dogs wouldn’t beat Chestnut’s 63 from last year.

Nope. ESPN just went business as usual and threw up a post with some faux-excitement like what we just saw wasn’t actually a champ, but a chump. If I’m Chicago I’d disavow this title:

58 GLIZZYS 😱

PATRICK BERTOLETTI WINS THE MEN’S NATHAN’S FAMOUS HOT DOG CONTEST 👏 pic.twitter.com/1CKtp4Xmxd

— ESPN (@espn) July 4, 2024

Listen if you want to be the man you have to beat the man. Bertoletti was going up against cheese in a can enthusiasts from the Poconos and a guy whose top-3 enjoyments in life didn’t even include hot dogs:

Exactly what I would think a guy from the Poconos would have a record for pic.twitter.com/O6NE3ucRzn

— Kyle Pagan (@CBKylePagan) July 4, 2024

This guys has the entire Delaware Valley on his shoulders. This city needs a championship. Badly. pic.twitter.com/qS6qotZDLZ

— Kyle Pagan (@CBKylePagan) July 4, 2024

You think if Bryce Harper was asked what he enjoys in life baseball wouldn’t make the top-3? Of course it would.

How dare they raise this man’s hand like he’s a hero. He competed against a bunch of nobodies. This is like those two titles the Rockets won in the 90s while Michael Jordan was playing baseball:

Introducing the 2024 men’s hot dog eating champion Patrick Bertoletti with 58 hot dogs and buns 🌭🌭 pic.twitter.com/I54cntvZ95

— Major League Eating (@eatingcontest) July 4, 2024

You can watch the greatness from Joey Chestnut start at 38:00