News

What the Hell is Going on With the Weird Squiggly Lines in My Old Neighborhood?

By Kyle Pagan

Published: Apr 2nd, 2025 · 11:36 AM EDT

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Listen, Lansdale doesn’t get in the news for much and when it does, it’s not typically funny, so when my hometown goes viral for something hilarious I’m going to blog it. Especially when this was my neighborhood for 15 years. Stone Ridge stand up! What the hell is going on with these squiggly traffic lines? Apparently it’s to deter speed, but what it really looks like is some construction worker just got done an extended lunch shift at The Bull & Barrel and went back to finishing work for the day:

Hold up, it took them two years to decide to make the lines squiggly? Imagine taking two years to decide this just to watch people totally disregard it. I love this guy Bob they interviewed. Just so nonchalantly hilarious about it. “They painted that for nothing.” This is a guy who has lost all faith in his local government:

I couldn’t agree more with Kevin Donovan (I think this is my 12-year-old travel baseball coach) via Leland Pinder at 6ABC.com:

A new traffic calming technique installed in Montgomery Township has neighbors a little perplexed.

Solid, squiggly lines were painted on Grays Lane on Friday morning. Police say it was in response to residents’ complaints of speeding drivers on the residential street. Neighbors say the road is used as a cut-through.

“I literally came home and somebody said it was there. I had to go drive down and say, ‘Why?'” said Kevin Donovan of Lansdale.

“Why zig-zaggy lines? People are still going to go straight up the hill and straight down the hill, so I don’t get it,” Donovan added.

1000% I’m still going straight up and straight down if no cars are coming the other way. Look at this guy giving a metaphorical middle finger to the township even though he sees NBC 10 doing a live hit. :

And don’t get me wrong, I understand why people complained. Everyone treats this road like it’s the high seas. There are no rules and it’s used as a passageway to get from Upper State to 202 in a quick and efficient fashion. Imagine Magellan after finding a quicker trade route to the Spice Islands. That’s Grays Lane. But wouldn’t speed bumps be more efficient? That’s what we do in Philly and it works pretty well for the most part. Every single week I feel like I see new speed bumps installed. Columbus Blvd. even has them now and that’s a borderline F1 track. Now they technically change this street into one with chicanes and shit? Some grandmother is going to get vertigo trying and end up on someone’s front lawn. FWIW, I definitely contributed to this on my way to Lansdale Catholic in my 93 Mazda Protege (stick shift btw, not to brag).