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MLB Writer Rubs It in Phillies Fans’ Faces That He Voted Kyle Schwarber 5th Place for NL MVP

Kyle Pagan

By Kyle Pagan

Published:

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-Imagn Images

Get a load of this guy Derrick Goold from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. He made his NL MVP ballot public and had the audacity to slot Kyle Schwarber in 5th place. The worst part is him rubbing our faces in it at the end of the tweet because he knew the absurdity of the ballot was going to catch Phillies fan’s wrath. What an asshole:

God there is nothing more smug than a baseball writer. You give a baseball scribe a vote in anything and they can’t wait to tell you how wrong you are about a player. Kyle Schwarber was unanimously believed to be the second best player in the NL this season and that’s why he came in second in the NL MVP vote. He led the league in home runs and RBIs while singlehandedly carrying the Phillies through some dogshit months. Fifth place? How? I’ll tell you how. Goold obviously loaded up the Stathead on Baseball Reference and compared every player’s WAR. That’s how you get Geraldo Perdomo in the top-3. I mean Paul Skenes had a great season, but he pitches once every five days on a 71 win team that were 26 games back. How can he be more valuable than a guy who played all 162 on the NL East champion? His explanation for it doesn’t even make sense:

Of course he conveniently wanted to place his top pitcher in the four spot right in front of Schwarbs. Very convenient. I love Red Pinstripes Supporter Group saying, “I’m sure you were aware that this was extremely contrarian to your peers and public opinion.” Oh boy was Derrick ever! Thank you for acknowledging it! That’s all Derrick even wanted! That’s why he cast the bait and we took it hook, line, and sinker. We’re the sheep for even engaging with this guy and giving him what he wants.

There is nothing more smug than a baseball writer. They bother the hell out of me. Even our young buck Luke Arcaini is getting a stroke of the smug after covering the Phillies this season. You try to have a conversation with him in the Slack from a fan’s perspective and you can sense a little bit of the superiority complex. It’s like the badge makes your baseball takes impeccable! You sit in the press box for a couple games and I guess it’s inevitable. It’s like they pump smug instead of air conditioning in there. Before you know it he’s going to be polishing off a Diet Coke a night and jamming to Bruce Springsteen on the way down to the ballpark. A Ticonderoga #2 is beneath you. All you write with now is a $34 pack of Blackwing pencils. And then one day you wake up and you try not to drown in your own smugness like Derrick Goold:

“People like me? You mean renowned baseball writer at the St. Louis Dispatch, Derrick Goold!? First of his name. Infallible to all naysayers.” Fucckkkkkk offffffffff. Baseball writers are the biggest nerds in sports.

And just to be fair and show I have some integrity (something Derrick Goold would know nothing about). I’ll call out longtime Phillies writer Jim Salisbury, who had one of the dumbest MVP ballots this country has ever seen, when he slotted Juan Soto in 7th place the year Bryce Harper won his second MVP award:

SMUG!

Kyle Pagan

Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com

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