Ad Disclosure
Bryce Harper and Mookie Betts May Be the First-Ever Athletes to Actually Do an Interesting Podcast
By Matt Schultz
Published:
No active athlete has ever said anything interesting on a podcast. Jeff Teague doesn’t count. Active is the key qualifier; I’m talking guys who regularly hop on pods – their own or someone else’s – while they’re still playing professionally. These podcasts are terrible across the board. The Draymond Green Show is dumbass, narcissistic ragebait. Roomates Show with Jalen Brunson and Josh Hart is charismaless rambling no one outside of New York will ever care about. Podcast P with Paul George is dangerous to listen to while driving because it will put you to sleep. New Heights is weirdo, celebrity worship dogshit. The list goes on and on.
So when I saw that Bryce Harper was appearing on On Base with Mookie Betts, my expectations were low. I don’t see either of those guys as particularly fun personalities. I figured the episode would be typical non-answer slop, a money grab for already-wealthy athletes trying to snag ad deals with Michelob Ultra and BetterHelp.
Then I saw these clips from the episode and was pretty shocked to see: these guys are actually saying very cool, interesting stuff:
The Clip About Juiced Baseballs
BETTS: “During that Home Run Derby bro, I’m watching, I have never seen balls go in the second deck as far as they were. And someone mentioned that the balls were, were juiced.”
HARPER: “Yeah.”
BETTS: “That’s beyond juiced.”
HARPER: “That’s the thing, like, it’s not a big deal. I’m not mad about it. Like that’s okay. Like it’s the Home Run Derby. Like I don’t care. They can juice them all they want. I hit a ball over the bullpen. I’ve never done that before.”
BETTS: “I’ve seen some deep homers, and balls don’t get nearly… Think about how many homers Schwarbs has hit. Has he ever hit it up there?”
HARPER: “No. He seriously hits the ball harder and farther than, I mean, three quarters of the league. I’ve never seen him come close to touching the triple deck.”
Very cool to hear these guys talk about the juiced balls. I somehow never considered it, but they’re obviously right: the Home Run Derby balls are juiced as hell. I also like that Bryce seems to embrace the juiced balls. Makes me wonder if he should push his good friend Rob Manfred into juicing the balls for the full regular season, too. I’d like see Kyle Schwarber hit a moonshot into the triple deck every week. Who wouldn’t? We have the baseballs. We have the juicing technology, whatever that may be (Imagine they put something light in the baseball? Hay? Maybe they stuff like hay in there? And take out all the regular inside-the-baseball stuff? All those strings…)
Let’s get these balls juiced up. There is no downside. Every game’s over-under will be 27 runs. Who says no.
The Clip About Bryce Harper Staring Down Orlando Arcia
BETTS: “In 2023 in the DS, you played the Braves. There was a situation with Arcia. You gotta have that picture (of the stare down). I hope it’s hanging up in your house.”
HARPER: “After the game, he (Arcia) was saying some choice words, and kinda got to the point where I was like, ‘Alright. Well, we’re going back to Philly, baby. Come on, let’s ride.’ Ended up hitting the homer against Elder right there, and then Brad Hand later in the game. And he (Arcia) knows I was staring right into him. It was funny cause like a year later he rounded first base after a homer and like stared at me. Regular season in April, bro.“
“Regular season in April, bro” is so funny. That’s a good shirt. Or hat. If Mookie is looking to get some merch going for his podcast, that could be a good place to start. Also, I wish we got this version of Bryce more: arrogant as hell and incredibly dismissive. That seems to be who he really is and has always been, all the way back to the “Clown question, bro” days. It’s a bummer that, for the most part, we only ever get Pandering, PR Approved Bryce. Would be fun to hear him talk more shit like this. Maybe he should start his own podcast.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com