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The Odyssey: Dak Prescott Pays Homage to Ancient History by Wearing a Cowboys Super Bowl Shirt to Training Camp
By Matt Schultz
Published:
It’s been a while since we’ve dunked on the Cowboys, and truth be told, I’ve missed it. Something’s been missing. The world has been off its axis… So we should really be thanking Dak Prescott for wearing this t-shirt to the team’s training camp hotel:
This rules. Him not realizing this was a bad idea rules. Super Bowl XXX was in 1996. That’s the last time the Cowboys were in the Super Bowl. Thirty years ago. That’s so damn long ago. I haven’t thought about it in a while, just how much failure the Cowboys and their fanbase have had to endure. But I am thinking about it right now, all because Dak wore this t-shirt. It’s a billboard advertising three decades of Cowboys organizational incompetence. And he chose by his own volition to put that billboard up. Eagles fans didn’t have to pay for this billboard. Dak put it up. It’s free. That’s pretty great. What a funny thing to do. Incredible self-own.
And now that we’re on the topic, since Dak has reminded me of just how disappointing and pathetic the Cowboys have been since their last semblance of relevance three decades ago, of how many times they’ve absolutely choked in the playoffs, let’s revisit just how bad it’s been:
Since their last Super Bowl win, the Dallas Cowboys have posted a 258-226-1 (.532) regular season record, which is pretty good. But then, unfortunately for them, the playoffs start, where they’ve gone 5-13 (.278). Five playoff wins in thirty years! That’s it! The Eagles have 20 playoff wins in that time! The Eagles have 6 playoff wins since 2022! The Eagles had 4 postseason wins in 2024 alone!
What else? The Cowboys haven’t even reached the NFC Championship game since 1996. They’ve gone 0-7 in the Divisional Round. They’ve notched some of the most colossally embarrassing playoff losses in NFL history. Remember when they were the 2-seed and got brutally upset by the 7-seed Packers in the 2023 Wild Card, going down 27-0 in the first half? How about the 2021 Wild Card against San Francisco when, down 23-17, Dak ran up the middle with 14 seconds left and no timeouts, and the game ended before he could spike the ball? How about Tony Romo’s infamous fumbled field goal snap in the 2006 Wild Card?
And then there was just last season, of course, when the Cowboys went 7-9-1 and missed the playoffs entirely.
The Cowboys are so damn bad. It’s awesome. Thanks for reminding us, Dak. Please keep reminding us with different t-shirts all season. This has been fun.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com