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Phillies

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me Luis Arraez Was a Swag Guy? 

Matt Schultz

By Matt Schultz

Published:

Aug 4, 2026; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA; Fans give Philadelphia Phillies second baseman Luis Arraez (4) a standing ovation as he comes to the plate during the first inning against the Washington Nationals at Citizens Bank Park.
Bill Streicher-Imagn Images

I didn’t know Luis Arraez was a swag guy. No one told me this. If anything, I would’ve thought he was boring because the big knock on him is that he only hits singles, which is the most boring kind of hit. But I was dead wrong. And I’m delighted to be wrong. Arraez has all kinds of swag. Look at this stuff: 

“Used to cry” when he struck out is awesome. There’s swag in that statement.

The swag is out of control… It’s incredible. And if he keeps up the production he showed on Tuesday night – in his Phillies debut, Arraez went 2-for-4 with two RBIs and a run scored – we could have a new truly beloved Phillie on our hands. The crowd at the Bank loved the guy. The team looked energized by him. And the reactions online are just as hyped:

Also, this one has nothing to do with swag, but I just saw this stat and am having trouble wrapping my head around it:

In conclusion, the Phillies got a real swag guy. He can also really hit the baseball. Imagine this in October. Imagine how electric an early 2-RBI Arraez single would be in a DS. The thought of it has me doing this at my laptop:

Matt Schultz
Matt Schultz

Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com

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