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Shout Out to the Guy Who Wore Eagles Chain Mail to the Renaissance Fair
By Matt Schultz
Published:
A photo of a guy at the Renaissance fair wearing full Eagles chain mail armor has crossed my desk:
Full disclosure, I did not know what I was looking at here for a while. I thought this was just some regular guy in a very long knit sweater, like the kind grandmas and elderly woman fifth-grade teachers wear. I’m picturing my mom’s older woman work friends at CHOP when I was a kid. Feel like they were always wearing this kind of sweater whenever I was down there visiting. It would get pretty cold in CHOP.
Anyway, I didn’t know what the words “chain mail” meant, was the problem. I thought it had something to do with computers:

But then I Googled “chainmail armor,” and it all came together for me:

I get it now. It’s this type of stuff. Jingle-jangle:
With that context in mind, this Eagles armor is sick as hell. Reading through the Reddit comments, people who’ve also met this guy are saying his girlfriend/now wife made this armor by hand. That’s got to be difficult. Imagine it’d be very time-consuming. Buying all the little chain links. Figuring out how to size it into a shirt-shape. Making sure the sleeve parts are the right length. Plus the Eagles design. That’s tough. How to stitch the “9” on the arm there. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. That’s good stuff.
Also, this interaction made me laugh:

I understand everything said here except the last comment. I don’t know what U/bjkibz is talking about. But that’s okay. Just because it’s not for me doesn’t mean it’s not important or interesting. I’m okay being on the sidelines for the elven-king talk.* I will just smile and politely nod. Glad everyone’s having fun. Jingle jangle.
*Kinkead: it’s from Lord of the Rings. Come on, man. By the way, the Ren Faire is pretty fun. I bet the tavern wenches were all about this guy’s Eagles chainmail.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com