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These Might Be the Two Funniest Eagles Fan Interviews I’ve Ever Seen
By Matt Schultz
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The Eagles blew a 10-point, fourth quarter lead to hand the Rams a 24-20 win on Sunday, but I’m not here to talk about that. I don’t want to think about it. It was not good.
Instead, I’d like to talk about these two fan interviews that CBS ran after the game. I just laughed so hard at this video:
THE FIRST GUY: “Coach doesn’t kick a field goal. Bad coaching again. Sirianni blew the game again. For the, for the – (a three-second long malfunction) – Unsmost times.”
What the hell happened to this guy? He was being so normal at first. Why did he become possessed? Why did his eyes bug out? Why did his jaw drop? Why does he look so scared?
Him stalling out for a few seconds there – looking shocked and upset and redder than any person I’ve ever seen – and then finding his footing again with “UNSMOST” is incredible. “Unsmost times” is so funny. Such a little kid thing to say. I’m gonna say it all the time.
THE SECOND GUY: “Nick ain’t it. Nick ain’t it. Nick– Nick is cute. He’s angry. He can scream. He doesn’t have – he doesn’t make the team come out of halftime and be the team. What’s happening at halftime? Are we – are we eating meatball subs?”
So many swerves with this second guy. Going from “Nick ain’t it” to “Nick is cute” while kind of shrugging is so funny. There was no connective tissue there. There’s no way to have predicted that was coming:
Then the accusatory “What’s happening at halftime?” question as if that’s the smoking gun in his case – another excellent direction. If we could just know what’s happening at halftime, that could crack this thing wide open. What’s happening at halftime, Nick? Why don’t you make the team come out of halftime and be the team? What’s going on in that locker room? Is the whole team just sitting around looking cute and eating meatball subs? I agree with what this guy’s getting at: halftime is not the time for that.
I wish there were four more hours of these guys talking. I love these guys. They gotta get a video podcast going.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com