Trending

You Have to Spend the Rest of Your Life in Only One of These Areas

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Oct 21st, 2026 · 3:24 PM EDT

---

We’ve seen this trend on social media and decided to steal it. Or, let’s go with the term “piggyback.” Yes… We are going to piggyback on the idea, because it’s a great idea!

You have to spend the rest of your life in only one of these areas. You can never leave. Not now, not ever:

Tough choices here! The Delaware Valley has so much to offer. Let’s go region by region and break it out.

Region A

This includes portions of North Philly and up into Montco and Bucks. You’ve got the East Falls, Manayunk, and Roxborough corridor for nightlife and entertainment. Chestnut Hill is very nice, as is the Plymouth-Whitemarsh area and over to Fort Washington and Ambler. You’ve also got Glenside and Wyncote in this region, which includes the Keswick Theatre. Kathy Griffin did a show there last week. It’s a good region with a number of quality neighborhoods.

Region B

Very diverse region we have here.

It starts with Northern Liberties and Fishtown, then fans out across the river to include parts Northeast Philadelphia, Lower Bucks, and Burlington County. Parx Casino and Sesame Place are up in here. Levittown, Yardley, and Trenton. And if you go beyond the map, I believe this includes Six Flags and Asbury Park, so you can go see Springsteen play the Stone Pony. This is a more blue collar area, so you might pick Region B if you don’t want to have to interact with snooty Main Liners or Shoobie motherfuckers.

Region C

Region C is almost entirely in New Jersey, but it includes Old City and Society Hill before you cross the river. Moorestown and Medford are bucolic. You’d have unlimited access to the Cherry Hill Mall and Fort Dix, where Diddy was previously incarcerated. The Flyers’ practice facility is in Region C, as is most of the White Horse Pike, and if you want some peace and quiet, the pine barrens are also in this area.

Region D

Region D is where you need to be if you want to see live sports. The South Philly sports complex is in this area, as is Subaru Park along the Chester waterfront. You’ve got the New Jersey hamlets of Mullica Hill and Swedesboro, and Wilmington as well. Carson Wentz lived in a portion of Region D that we’d refer to as “bumblefuck.” There’s also a slice of Delco that runs along MacDade Boulevard and includes institutions like Hunt’s Annex and the Stargate Diner. The airport is also here, but reminder – you can only fly within this region.

Region E

Region F has something for everyone. You’ve got University City, with the hallowed institutions of Penn and Drexel. There’s West Philadelphia up into Delco proper, with Cobbs Creek, Ridley Creek, and West Chester, all way out to Longwood Gardens and Kennett Square with all the mushrooms and whatnot. Episcopal Academy is also in this area, so if you have $45,000 a year and want your kid to go to a high school that’s bigger than a D3 college, you would select Region E.

Region F

Finally, we’ve got a region that starts in Fairmount and then goes up through the Bala area and into the Main Line proper. Lots of money in Region F, going through Ardmore, Bryn Mawr, Villanova, Radnor, and Wayne. There is also the King of Prussia Mall for shopping as well as Valley Forge National Park and then Phoenixville as well. If you do want a little bit of country peace and quiet as well, that area of Chester County has your name on it.

---

For me, it’s a tie between C and F. Both are STRONG regions. But each region can make a case. Remember, there are no right answers or wrong answers. And if someone disputes what you’re saying, you simply have to present them with a set of “alternative facts.”