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15 Haiku Poems After Eagles Get Torched by the Cowboys at Home
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We’re all feeling sad about the Birds after a 38-21 loss on Monday Night Football. The Cowboys totally stink but they held a depleted Eagles offense to 21 points while scoring almost 40 on a defense that looks like it’s throwing in the towel. It’s a lost season.
Instead of doing some detailed analysis of a 2-5 football team that is currently wracked with injuries, here are 15 Haiku poems about the Birds.
Note that the traditional Haiku format is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and then 5 syllables in three separate lines.
“Lost Season”
it’s a lost season
injuries and crap football
it’s a lost season
“Now everybody’s a blood clot expert”
I’m no doctor, but
I stayed at a Holiday
Inn Express last night
“Tanner McKee threw one of those Donovan McNabb dirt balls into the ground”
Darius Cooper
He was open on that pass
McKee wormburner
“Remember when people wanted McKee to start over Jalen Hurts?”
Tanner McKee, meh
didn’t have Smitty, but still
McKee is not it
“Cooper DeJean is toast”
Cooper DeJean – sheesh
looking like Izel Jenkins
out there this season
“too many injuries”
Eagles injuries
so bad, the list looks like a
CVS receipt
“Saquon Barkley injured his back trying to play through an injured hamstring”
Saquon might be cursed
injured again, first series
no Bigsby either
“see what happens when you throw a pass to Makai Lemon that isn’t a fucking bubble screen?”
Lemon breakout game
7 for 67 yards and score
no more bubble screens
“Couldn’t stop the run”
Javonte Williams
6.2 yards per carry
what the hell was that?
“Ringo vs. Mingo”
second half last night
Kelee Ringo had tackled
Jonathan Mingo
“at least Quinyon Mitchell always shows up”
Quinyonomo Bay
best corner in NFL
he always shows up
“Jake Elliott’s attempted tackle on the Dallas kick return that was called back for holding”
Jake Elliott whiffed
looked like Asante Samuel
trying to tackle
“The Cowboys are still ass”
Cowboys are still ass
no Hurts, no Smitty last night
Cowboys are still ass
“Cockroach Cowboy fans”
You are all posers
can’t even point to Texas
on a map, posers
“Jeffrey Lurie looking like he had indigestion”
Mr. Lurie annoyed
with both offense and defense
fire somebody
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com