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Sadly, I Gotta Agree With Brian Baldinger Roasting the Eagles’ Effort
By Matt Schultz
Published:
There are plenty of reasons why the Eagles’ loss to the Cowboys on MNF looked so rough. The Birds are incredibly banged up, and had to take the field without Jalen Hurts, Devonta Smith, and Dontayvion Wicks. Saquon Barkley played, but was limited after tweaking his back while trying to play through a hamstring injury. The offensive line is still trying to fill the void left by the recently retired Lane Johnson and traded Cam Jurgens. This is all noteworthy stuff, and when you consider it in totality, it could be enough to explain away Monday night’s disheartening loss.
But unfortunately, those aren’t the only reasons. Brian Baldinger pointed out on X that the Eagles showed a pretty glaring lack of effort against Dallas, and sadly, after seeing the tape, I must agree with him:
“You can use any adjective you want. They all apply. Disgraceful. Lack of effort. But can you just get ready to play? Can you get in your stance when the ball is snapped? Can you just get in your stance? I don’t know how many times last night, we’re watching this, and like, they’re not even ready to play. Dak’s under center, we’ve got conversation. The tackles are standing straight up. You think the Cowboys are gonna gain yards right here? You watch this and you go, this effort, is just unacceptable, and it has to be called out. Like there goes Javonte, right? For 34 yards. Just look at this. These guys are walking down the field. It’s a jog. It’s not even a jog, it’s a walk. I mean, it was just shocking how bad it was. Like, if you’re gonna get this adjustment here that Vic likes to do… can you at least get on the line and get ready?… If you’re gonna be on the goal line, why would you stand up on the goal line?… This is about as bad as I’ve seen all year, from any team. “
Not good! Two brutal watches! As Kinker wrote earlier today, it seems like the defense is finally rolling over after carrying the Eagles through the first chunk of the season. Maybe these guys are seeing all the injuries on the offensive side of the ball stack up, and it has them feeling like a playoff run is a long shot. And if that’s the case, I guess I can understand where they’re coming from. Anyone who’s ever played sports knows that feeling — the deflation that comes when you realize the game/season is probably out of reach.
But just because I get it doesn’t mean I want to see it. This sucks. Watching your team mail it in truly sucks. Watching these Baldy videos, I went through a whole host of emotions:
- Anger: “The fuck is this? Why are you standing up straight? Crouch! Bend your knees! You’re paid so much money! This is your job! This shit is unacceptable! Cut them! Cut them all! Fire Nick! Clean house! Take back Lurie’s jacket that he awarded himself before the game! You can’t just award yourself a jacket! You can’t throw a whole ceremony where the point is that you are giving yourself a jacket! Not when the team’s out here standing straight up!”
- Sadness: “Season really is over… Damn… Even the team knows it… Defensive line quit so hard they’re just standing up regular… like they’re waiting for their number to be called at a ShopRite deli… Full deli pose… Not good…”
- Disappointment: “Really thought this was gonna be the year we’d climb the mountain again. NFC doesn’t look that good. Eagles’ roster seemed stacked before Week 1… What the hell happened…”
- Defeated: “Maybe this whole run is over… Maybe we’re back to being the Birds of old… Maybe we’ll never get back to the Super Bowl in my lifetime… I wonder if I cherished the good times enough… I fear I did not…”
- Defiant: “Know what, fuck this. I don’t care. Whatever. Loser-ass team. It’s basketball season anyway. The Sixers got LeBron. That’s what’s important.”
- Anger again: “I’m gonna wrestle Jeffrey Lurie’s jacket off of him. I’m gonna find him and do this. He can get the jacket back when the defense starts crouching. Until then, I’m gonna wear it.”
The cycle would then start over, and go on and on in a loop until the videos ended. It was an unpleasant experience. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to wrestle Jeffrey Lurie. I want him to enjoy his jacket.
But seeing this kind of effort is unacceptable. This may not be the Eagles’ season. Down years are bound to happen. But that doesn’t mean the fans should have to watch this.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com