Ad Disclosure
This Dumbass Sequence Pretty Much Sums Up the Eagles’ Season
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Eagles lost to the Commanders 27-10 on Sunday Night Football in a game I wish I could unsee. No part of it was good. It’s messed up that the Birds should even have to play the rest of the games. If the NFL was merciful they’d cancel the rest of Philadelphia’s season. That’d be a cool thing of them to do. We should get a petition going. If someone gets a petition going I’ll sign it.
I will say, though, that watching the dogshit Commanders beat the even-more-dogshit Eagles did provide some interesting insight into just how bad, injured, and poorly coached this Philadelphia team is, and no sequence did that better than this one:
Down 16-10 with 10:27 left in the game, the Eagles got into the red zone for a 1st and 10 at Washington’s 19-yard line. They couldn’t get much going on the first three downs, but Nick Sirianni was feeling aggressive and looked to go for it on 4th and 3. The play never happened, though. A false start called on rookie right tackle Markel Bell backed the offense up 5 yards, which Nick decided was too long to go for. He sent out the field goal unit for an extremely manageable 36-yard field goal to get the Birds within three.
Jake Elliot successfully drilled it, but the three points were taken off the board because of an illegal formation penalty. Jordan Mailata was lined up off the line of scrimmage. The Eagles were backed up another 5 yards, and when Elliot attempted the now-41 yard field goal on 4th and 14, he thunked the ball off the left upright.
In short, the Eagles, who were only down 16-10 at the time, turned a fourth-quarter 1st and 10 inside the Commanders’ 20 into two penalties, a nullified field goal, a missed field goal, and zero points. So, so bad. Please cancel the rest of the Birds’ games. A petition could be good. Gonna keep my eyes peeled for a petition.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com