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The Inquirer’s Data Editor Made a Hyper-Detailed Pixel Version of Philly You Can Scroll Through

Matt Schultz

By Matt Schultz

Published:

via Stephen Stirling's Pixel Philly

This dawn of Pixel Philly has been brought to my attention, and I’ve spent the last thirty-ish minutes scrolling around the digital town and staring at landmarks and searching for stuff. This is a nice Friday activity. A good thing to do instead of doing any real work at your job. Your boss won’t be able to tell, either. You have to stare at a computer and move your mouse around, which looks like working. Foolproof…

Here’s the link to Pixel Philly, along with a thread about what it is and why the guy made it:

Here are some highlights I’ve come across so far:

Saint Joseph’s University

Guess it’s hard to make old-looking cathedrals with pixels. These all look like regular buildings. SJU famously has that big cathedral-looking building. Also, City Ave has never looked this nice/green. But that’s alright. Not gonna give the pixel guy a hard time here. Hagan Arena, location of the soon-to-be-named Martelli Court, looks pretty good.

Origlio Beverage, Where I Answered Phones On The Night Shift For A Year After College

A gray warehouse sitting in dirt way out on the far end of the Northeast. This is accurate.

Citizens Bank Park

Pretty good. Would’ve liked to see some Phillies colors or the huge new scoreboard or something, but this is solid.

Lincoln Financial Field

Why is the field set up for soccer? Why does the outside have a million tiny holes/windows? Not my Linc… No way…

Xfinity Mobile Arena

This is a pretty boring-looking building, which makes it accurate. Xfinity should try to look cooler somehow. Big-gray-bubble-roof isn’t all that interesting, now that I’m thinking about it. Maybe try a new color/shape.

Parking Lot at the Sports Complex That Looks Like It Has Some Sort of Cryptic Message

Zodiac-killer-ass parking lot.

Flat-Looking Boat

Flat as all hell. Maybe it’s half sunk. Looks like there’s some coral reef around it. Could’ve run into the coral reef, perhaps.

Tacony-Palmyra Bridge

Beautiful.

Close-Up Of the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge That Clearly Shows the Part That Goes Up When Boats Roll Through

Did a boat crash into this yesterday? Thought I saw that on the news or something. I didn’t look too much into it. Busy day. Wonder if the bridge is still standing.

Boathouse Row

Not great. These houses are supposed to look more like houses and not very small brick middle schools.

The Art Museum

I’m learning as I’m going through this that I guess it’s impossible to make cool architecture in pixel form. Everything essentially comes out looking like a mall.

One Liberty Place

Guess pixels can’t really make spires. That must be the problem. One Liberty Place is probably the most recognizable building in the Philly skyline, and its defining characteristic is the slope at the top/big antenna sticking out of it. Looks nuts without it.

City Hall

Tiny-Empire-State-Building-ass City Hall here. No William Penn statue. No big yellow clock. A disgrace…

Big Tan Patch Near the Airport (Bellwether District)

This is accurate. What’s going on with the land near the airport? Why does it look like shit? Why’s it all tan and dead-looking? Have wondered this for a long time. It seems both very wet and dry at the same time. If anyone has answers on this, please email me.

My College House in Manayunk

Just counted them all up: the pixel version of this house has 21 windows. And that’s just on the one side of the house. Think the real house had three in total. Also, the house wasn’t concrete-colored in real life. It was the varying shades of brown you see in ceilings that are about to start leaking.

Matt Schultz

Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com