Eagles

The Eagles Signed LeGarrette Blount and Now I’m Pissed

By Kyle Scott

Published: May 17th, 2017 · 10:47 AM EDT

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Noooooooooooo I hate this. God this is such a cuck signing. Blount was the beneficiary of a Pats offsense that could make a trash can look like a formidable running threat. He’s 30, curiously was a free agent until today, and saw his average yards per carry hit a five-year low last year despite scoring 18 touchdowns because HE PLAYED FOR THE FUCKING PATRIOTS.

I hate the notion of signing guys Bill Belichick is done with. I’m telling you, no, he’s not that good. The deal is reported to be one year, $2.8 million, and Blount will put some much needed size in the Eagles’ backfield, so it makes some sense and is hard to get truly outraged about, but the signing strips away almost all the positive feelings I had about Howie Roseman this offseason. Signing a guy like Blount is exactly the sort of thing Dream Team Howie would do, and I thought that guy was dead or at least locked in an airplane bathroom somewhere.

Also, Blount will probably get hurt. I bet you he doesn’t play in more than six games.

Side note: The Patriots will get a compensatory pick because Belichick had such respect for Blount that he hit him with a seldom used tender to piss all over his market value even though he probably wasn’t going to make the team anyway. Here, watch:

Wow– they must’ve really valued his services.