Eagles

A Dallas Cowboys Sausage Party

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Jun 5th, 2018 · 1:02 PM EDT

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Let’s check in on Dak Prescott and Zeke Elliott, who did not win the Super Bowl.

Looks like they’re in the Florida Keys, buying penis guns:

Ezekiel Elliott and Dak Prescott Hit The Club, Penis Guns Blazinghttps://t.co/CAWO0ag7kD

— TMZ Sports (@TMZ_Sports) June 5, 2018

From the TMZ story:

Ezekiel Elliott and Dak Prescott decided to take their guys trip to Florida to the next level — by buying a bunch of penis squirt guns … and rocking them to the nightclub!

Here’s what happened … the Dallas Cowboys stars rolled into Shorty’s Market in Key West, Florida on Friday night — along with several Cowboys offensive linemen — and decided to arm the group with some water wieners.

We spoke with store employees who tell us the guys were super nice and made the purchase as a joke while they were bar hopping.

…

Witnesses say the crew ended up at Rick’s Bar … where Zeke was seen holstering his penis in a black fanny pack, with the barrel dangerously pointed up.

We’re told the guys had a great time … and no one got in any trouble … and, if you’re interested, Shorty’s says they’ve got plenty more guns available for $14.99 a pop!

Sounds like fun.

I think I’ll get down to Key West and purchase a $14.99 penis gun.

Side note: why is it that every bar in the Florida Keys seems to feature an old white guy with a ponytail playing Jimmy Buffet songs on an acoustic?